I think I should probably post something since I have been absent this week and we are going to be having some serious family time this weekend (soexcitedicanhardlybreathe) and I therefore will not be enjoying any extended Internet time to be sure.
You see, the reason that I haven't posted much, if anything, this week is that it has been one of those weeks where I am fairly convinced that I am the worst wife/mother/women/Christian/all around person on the face of the earth. Like a"a Pandora's box of all the secret, hateful parts - your arrogance, your spite, your condescension - has sprung open?"You've Got Mail Quote? Anyone? No? Sorry (one day I will do an entire post dedicated to that movie, it is my all time fav)
Anyways, you've had one of those weeks, right? Gosh I hope so. Or I hope not, for your sake, but I would like to think that I am not crazy.
If you haven't here are some various glimpses into the life of someone who has:
- I was out for like the 3rd evening this week for another something or other I had committed to, leaving Mike at home alone. I get home, walk in the door exhausted (sure that I am the most tired person on earth and no one could have it as bad as me) announce that I am home, plop down on the couch and check my email. No kiss hello, no "how was your evening" Nope, just jerk.
- A semi-potty trained 2--year-old finally makes it to the potty before peeing in her pants, pulls them down, does a semi-squat over the potty, misses and pees ALL over the floor, like old faithful. Instead of commending her for at least making it there and sucking up the enormous amount of urine to be cleaned, I freak out, like really freak out. Like a toddler.
- The primary means of communication in the house during the day has been yelling, by me. Great.
- The one-year-old shoves a rag in the toilet and it and I yell. At the one-year-old.
- Did I mention yelling?
- Ok I will stop confessing, but there was more, much, much more.
Don't get me wrong. I have bad days a lot and I still post things. I guess it was more the total lack of virtue displayed by the mother who is supposed to be a good Catholic stay-at-home mom and the crushing feeling of guilt I had by the end of each day that made it impossible for me to even fake it even a little bit.
Don't worry, I am ok, everything is going great. I never discount the effect of the insane hormone component that we females are always dealing with and so I blame a lot on that.
But overall I am just human and oh so very weak and wounded. And I take the things that are the absolute greatest gifts God has given me on earth for granted.
I will be done now with this rant. Have a fabulous weekend and an even better coming week!!