Sunday, July 15, 2012

The Cling

Calling Bernadette "clingy" would be the understatement of 2012.
I have no idea what is going to happen when we introduce this new, more legitimately needy child to her and let her know that she will no longer the only one on my hip. It scares me.
see how scared I am?

I know it will be fine, I hope so. Ok I feel no confidence at all in how it will go. I can only hope that in the next 2 1/2 months she will find some pet outside that we can domesticate for her to attach herself to, or a 5th "beeka" (pink silk/plush blanket), which will top all the rest and be her new stand in mother.
notice my nervous smile?
The thing is that I have no interest in detaching her prematurely since I am super sentimental and sad about the fact that very soon she will no longer be "the baby" and that these are my last weeks of being able to give her the sort of only partially-divided attention that so longs for. (Yes the attention is divided but she seriously lucked out that she has a very non-clingy/independent older sister.)
So...  I pick her up when she asks me to, I snuggle with her as long as she wants me to, I give in almost every time she is expressing preference for me over Mike or another person, I am definitely enabling the clingy-ness.

Am I being selfish? Probably. Is this a disservice to her? I don't know, probably in some way someone could make the case that it is. But I will never have these exact moments with her again when there was no sibling younger than her outside the womb and I want to soak them up a like the little sappy sponge that I am. 

And so I say, cling on, oh clingy one, you have about 100 days of this paradise left...

7 comments :

  1. Ohhhhh! So sweet and so hard. Tagg was/is the same way. He is a huge Mamma's boy and snuggle bug. It was so hard for him to deal with less of mom when Elli came. It was a relief that he didn't blame Elli for it at all, but he just still wanted the same or greater amount of attention he got before and was really sad when he couldn't get it. The adjustment was hard, but 2 months into things it isn't even an issue anymore. He's used to sharing and still climbs up for a snuggle anytime he sees my hands empty.
    So sweet and so bittersweet. It's the hardest part of having more kids in my opinion.
    I'll be keeping you guys in my prayers! It might be so hard at first, but will get better.
    XOXO

    ps I can't believe how close you're getting!

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  2. This is so sweet! Don't worry though, she will be all clingy to that new baby once she arrives! A sibling's love is very close to a parent's love :-)

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  3. We are in the same exact boat around here! My youngest has become quite the Mamma's boy, much to my surprise/delight since Daddy has ALWAYS been his favorite! I'm torn between "preparing" him for this new baby and savoring the fact that I kinda love the extra hugs and cuddles and overall preference! haha

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  4. That's totally sweet, Ana! I'd trust my gut on this one =) It's never bad to dote on a little sweet one when you have the time. She'll have stored up some love and perhaps it will make her know when she can't be held...(somewhere deep down inside?) that you really do love her. Plus, you'll still find a few moments here and there! Thanks for sharing! I store these things away for the future =).

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  5. When my oldest son was turning 2, I was 8 months pregnant with my next son. My oldest was super clingy to me also, and at 2, was still wanting to sit in the sling on my hip while I did just about anything. I was so worried about how he would react to the new baby. I even went out and purchased a 2nd, different colored, sling, so that the baby would have his own, and not take my older one's sling. Somehow, once the baby came, it was all fine. He stepped up as the "big" brother, and responded well when the baby needed me. I made sure that he had his own snuggle time (bed time, etc.) without the baby. And he often turned to my husband when I had the baby, which developed their relationship in a special way. As you know from having two - bringing another baby into the mix just multiplies the love!!

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  6. You are such a precious mother to be concerned with your little one's "graduation." There will be enough of you, and the newest will be the source of plenty non-mom cuddling in the future, so worry not.

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  7. My kids seemed to sense the impending arrival of a new sibling and became unusually clingy/needy. Now that I'm expecting #4 I am cherishing each cuddle and hug and extra kiss requests that I get. They aren't babies long enough!

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