Thursday, June 28, 2012

Milestones sans Mike

If you consider finally being able to get your child's hair into pigtails a milestone.

Mike has been absent since Sunday attending what has been described as a "week of intensive study, prayer and discussion" aka a retreat for really smart people. And I have been spending lots of time at both of our parents' homes squeeeeezing as much child care out of them as I can and pretending to know what I am doing by myself.

I was encouraged our second day here when I was staring at Bernadette's long stragglers+male pattern baldness and thought, "hey, I think I could manage to fit most of that up in pigtails" with the exception of the reeeeeaaallllyy short pieces on the top. So I tried it and..........


Success was mine.

I suppose of all the "milestones" for Mike to miss, this was the best. Plus we got to see him at Mass everyday, so he was included in the rejoicing.

Did I really just do an entire post on putting baby hair in pigtails? You bet.


Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Dear Mike,

Do you think when we're 80 you will still be saved in my phone as this:
?
Maybe, probably, I hope so. After 4 years of marriage and a couple of dating and engagement it hasn't changed. I say that time will not change the reality of the the situation.

Love you

p.s. check out Cari's Snaphots, it is the bomb diggity.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

4 ingredient recipe=awesome

I've been wanting to post this recipe for some time now and Grace's sweeeeeet little link up today has encouraged me to "just do it", so here we go.

I love macaroons, so when I googled "chocolate chip macaroons and found this recipe that only calls for 4, count em 4, ingredients, I needed to try it and try it I did.

Chocolate Chip Macaroons:
  • 2 1/2 cups flaked coconut
  • 2/3 cup semisweet mini chocolate chips
  • 2/3 cup sweetened condensed milk 
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Spray cookie sheets with non-stick spray.
Combine the stuff; mix until well blended.
Drop the goodness by teaspoonfuls (ish) 2 inches apart onto cookie sheets.
Press dough gently with back of spoon to flatten slightly.
Bake 8-10-12 minutes or until light golden brown. My oven is super hot and I HATE overcooked cookies, so I went for about 8 minutes. 

Definitely let them cool for a while before eating or they will just completely fall apart all over you, unless you like that sort of thing, then just go for it.

These are obviously not conducive to the Dr. Meansly diet, but sometimes you just have to stick it to the man. I am still working on responding to all you awesome bloggy friends who have been so sweet in commenting on my somewhat pathetic little post yesterday- let's just say I am completely inspired/encouraged, thank you all so so much!!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

A beached whale seeks advice


I'd like to share with you a conversation I had the other day at my almost 22 week doctor's appointment between me and my doctor. Please note a few things:

1) I've waited a few days to spew this out into the internets in order to not call my doctor terrible names and slander her on the world wide web.
2) The actually conversation has been altered a bit for dramatic effect and because I cannot remember it in detail anymore, I mean it was 2 WHOLE DAYS ago.

For the sake of privacy we'll call my doctor, Dr. Meansly. I will be called Ana.



Dr. Meansly: Are there any issues you wanted to talk about? It says here you get terrible migraines and are having lots and lots of contractions with other things that are concerning you and what not....

Ana: yes that's right

Dr: here's a prescription for the migraines.... and you're fine, now let's talk about your weight gain.

Ana: ok

Dr: I am a little concerned about this because you have already gained THIS much weight, and I really don't want you to come in and deliver a 9 pound baby if I am trying to VBAC you. You REALLY need to watch your diet.

Ana: yes, I gained a lot at the beginning since I felt so sick and just needed to eat all the time and whatever I could stomach in order to not be puking all day... (still trying to talk)

Dr: Yes, but you have already gained THIS much and you're only 21 weeks and you've already gained THIS much, you REALLY need to watch your diet...

Ana: (cutting in) yes, I know, but since my last appointment I have only gained 3 pounds and have slowed down substantially so obviously I have changed my diet considerably and will continue to do so.

Dr: Ok, good, because I would have expected any other woman at 21 weeks to have only gained 5 pounds and you have already gained THIS much, so you really need to slow down and REALLY need to watch your diet.

Ana: (trying not to begin weeping and punching all at the same time) Yes, ok, I've only gained 3 pounds since the last visit but ok, I will work on that.



Before the appointment when I looked in the mirror I saw this:
After I pretty much only saw something more akin to a beached whale.

I have over shared about weight before, so I will not go on too long. But I left the appointment wondering a few things:

1) Am I supposed to go on a diet?
2) How much should I work out while pregnant?
3) Is Dr. Meansly being for real that if I gain more than 30 pounds during pregnancy I am going to birth an enormous mini-whale baby?
4) Why do I go to Dr. Meansly again? Right because barely any doctors will do VBACS anymore and I have limited to zero choice in the matter.

Ok, so I answered the last question easily. And honestly, she is a very good, competent doctor and she was very sensitive to us having just miscarried and to the fact that we were a little over-paranoid about how this baby is doing and I really needed that. But I am kind of a sheepish middle child who pretty much always apologizes first because I HATE confrontation and HATE people being mad at me or mean to me and really like NICE people and am very sensitive and cry pretty easily and am not thick skinned and will spare you anymore needless personal details, but you get it. I did not quite know how to deal with the mean factor and the feeling that I was back in my chubby middle school days being made fun of by the mean kid in school.

And as for question #3, it turns out she isn't a complete idiot as I was able to find a few articles right away on a mother's weight gain during pregnancy effecting her child's weight at birth (although the studies seemed to be focusing more on women who were already very overweight and then gain like 50 pounds or more on top of that) but still I guess that is a legit concern on her part, I mean look at me, we can all see I am bordering on obese.

But the other 2 questions left me a bit puzzled and genuinely seeking the advice and sage wisdom of this wonderful blog community of other ladies who have had babies.
How the heck do you get fit during pregnancy without jeopardizing your own health or the health of baby? What sorts of work outs do you like best? (I tried running yesterday and had about 10 extremely painful contractions in about 30 minutes, so we're not going to re-visit that). I have pretty much only done Jillian Michaels and Pilates in the past year, and running when not pregnant- I even did some Jillian today and enjoyed it! But I am thinking that maybe the more huge I get the harder doing never-going-to-be-pregnant-because-of-what-it-will-do-to-my-body-Jillian will be.

So what's your diet/fitness poison while pregnant? DO share, because I cannot face another appointment like that, and I would honestly like to go in and baffle Dr. Meansly with my impeccable strides in the fitness arena at my next appointment.


Monday, June 18, 2012

Worst wife

I woke up yesterday morning the same fog that I wake up in every morning, feeling something akin to the old high school "drank too much all the time" days, because sometimes being pregnant and losing large amounts of sleep due to toddlers feels like being drunk.

So naturally I was in the same self-centered attitude I usually am thinking about how much of a modern day martyr I am for all the sacrifices I make, yada yada yada. I groggily opened my computer to check the usuals: reader, email, blogger, facebook, and since it was a Sunday at 6:45 a.m., there really wasn't much happenin. I opened my facebook and checked my notifications to find that somebody had "liked" my status update. Ok, that is fine, except that I never update my status and definitely hadn't that day or the day before or any time recently.

And in fact, I hadn't, but here is what I found:




Mike kind of shares of facebook account with me insofar as he no longer has his own and occasionally gets on mine to check out what is happening, and apparently to sneakily update my statuses without my knowing...

But actually he was right, I had completely forgotten about father's day. You would think that all the father-centered blog posts and pictures on facebook that people were posting the entire day prior would have given something away, but my pregnant fog does not allow those things to penetrate too far into my brain. Anyhow, his cute indirect reminder was luckily early enough that I had enough time to get some cards together and whip up some batter or Mike's favorite, "German pancakes," aka crepes.

But I made sure to keep him down to earth during the day with my constant complaining about my exhaustion and preggo discomfort. I wouldn't want him to forget what makes him such a good husband and father.

So just in case you thought you were the worst wife, know I've got you beat.

Friday, June 15, 2012

OTI: you-pick style


I was not planning on doing this OTI thing again, since I try to steer clear of fashion blerging, and and I do not fancy myself a particularly "fashionable person", so I don't want to be a poser. However, I made the exception today for a few reasons:

a) I saw on Grace's blog that today's is a you-pick-your-own-inspiration type of thing, so that makes things much easier,

2) I might be the most exhausted woman on the planet, thank you Mad Men/Nauseatingly early rising toddler combo from h-e-double tooth picks, so this knocks out a blog post for me in about 5.5 seconds. Take picture, upload picture and dumb captions, post=easy peasy.

3/c) When I put my outfit on this morning I had a vague recollection that I was going for something I had seen in a celebrity picture and since I do not read any celebrity stuff except for Suri, I knew right where to look and BAM, I found it:



So here you go: stripes on light pink with some pearl action
Again with the striped maternity shirt. Pregnant wardrobe is sparse. 
Shirt: Old Navy; Skirt: Gap. Necklace, bracelet, & shoes: forever 21
Also again with the looking-down pose. I figured that all the celebs who are used as inspiration in these things look like they have no idea anyone is taking their picture, so I am just going to get on that train and ride it since I take the most awkward pictures of myself. ever.

Blog post done, now go visit Erica, Kayla and Grace for other more hip interpretations while I go off to nappy land.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

The giveaway winner is.....

I know you've been putting all things in your life on hold waiting to hear who the lucky lucky winner of this little number is. And now you can resume your normal life. Because the winner is.................................................................................................................................................................

....................................................................................................................................................................


And I win the award for creepiest giveaway announcement eva!!!!


I will be heading to the post this very day with cover in hand to mail it to you, Jenny, your neighbors can thank me later. I wish I could make a cover for each person who commented, but then I would probably get arrested for child endangerment/neglect or something. Please for the love of all things good go to Jenny's blog and read her post from yesterday. I have never felt such sympathy for a mother while simultaneously not being able to stop laughing while reading- I felt odd about this, but it's not my fault, she is hilarious. So glad I get to give this cover to such a wonderful mamma and friend.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

More Holland, then I will shut up.

 WARNING: This post contains gratuitous pictures of myself and better half, mostly awkwardly taken by a stranger, this is what happens when children are not involved. 

So as I mentioned before and before, Mike and I embarked on an almost unprecedented kidless mini-adventure this past weekend to a cute town in Michigan called Holland. And it. was. GLORIOUS. (It was almost unprecedented because we tried to have a kidless night away over Christmas break that took place only 5 minutes from where our kids were staying and ended with us picking them up the next morning and bringing them to the hotel for a "fun swim" which resulted in an almost-concussed 3-yr-old. This was the do-over).

My parents came into town to be with the girls and were pretty much pushing us out the door to get on our way "As early as possible" Saturday morning- can we say BEST parents ever? Yes we can. They probably reassured me 50 plus times that they had it taken care of and that they would be fine with the girls, that they had done it 8 times, etc, etc... And I still made like 20 phone calls in the 24 hour period to check on one said cling-monster. Paranoid mom strikes again. I am glad my parents just laughed me off and didn't make fun of me. Too much. I had Mike to do that.

pretty much the only not super awkward picture taken, thank you Mr. Garbage can at a decent height.
 So here is what our schedule entailed on Saturday from our arrival on:

11 a.m.: check in, lay around, do nothing
12 p.m.: Get ready without kids, take as long as we want
1 p.m.: eat lunch without kids, feed no one, have an uninterupted conversation, stare at people uninterrupted
2 p.m.: Get ice cream and share with no one
3p.m.: Walk around holding no hands, except each others
3:30: Take a lengthy nap, ended by the fact that I woke up on my own, with no screams, cries, kids in my face
4: Get ONLY MYSELF ready for Mass
5: Go to Mass together, hold hands during Mass, listen to words of Mass...
6: Stroll along beach watching other peoples' kids melting down and almost being eaten by sharks (it's lake MI, there are no sharks)
7: Eat another meal with no one to feed but myself
8: Still eating, didn't have to rush out as a result of tantruming toddlers
9: Watch a movie without child running out to ask for her 6th, 7th and 8th glass of water
Go to bed
Sleep until whenever the next day
Go back home and get kicked in the groin with reality.


I LOVE being a mom, and to be honest I thought about the girls almost every moment, and even missed them!  We kept talking about how fun this little town would be for them, but this time I am glad it was just us. I needed to miss them. Absence make the heart.. do something, you know.
 A little taste of the Dutch flair that Holland is known for.
I think you've had enough.

OTI: Grace's pick

In the spirit of keeping things fresh, I'm gonna go ahead and link up with Grace today for a little interpreting of an outfit (also I bought a skirt at my favorite thrift store the other day and have been wanting to wear it, although I may never make out of the house in it for fear of looking tent-ish).

Without further ado, here is Grace's outfit pick:
And my "looking-nothing-like-super-hot-Reese" interpretation:
Blouse: garage sale find; Skirt: St. Vincent de Paul thrift store; Belt: Target; Favorite sandals hiding in the grass: Target (**favorite Target sandals have since died due to over-wear, RIP favorite sandals); Black workout head band that completely clashes with everything: Walmart- oops
Go see Grace's WAY cuter, way more accurately interpreted outfit. Now.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Mike does Holland

So did Ana but you wouldn't know it from these pictures.

exhibit A
Mike and I were away in Holland, MI for a little 24 hour second honeymoon this weekend. For an unknown reason, Mike decided that in every picture, instead of looking like his normal non-awkward self:
































exhibits b, c, d, e, f and g: very intentional extremely awkward smile


He would instead look like this:

For almost every single picture.



I am not sure that Mike would approve of me making every picture extra large, but you can't really get the full effect otherwise.

Stay tuned for more Holland fun later and be sure to enter the nursing cover giveaway, it will be open until Wednesday. Peace out.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Giveaway, giveaway, GIVE-A-WAY!!!

Alright faithful and unfaithful readers, followers and non-followers, it is time!
After many weeks months of staring at my brand new sewing machine, which broke the moment I opened it, I finally got it together and returned it for another brand new one that works and have sewn something lovely just for you! Well, one of you.

I don't know what it is that feels so right about a blog giveaway, I just feel like if you actually read all this stuff, or even just happen upon this and read it once, you deserve something free. I think I just feel guilty for putting you through it, as if I have little blog leprechauns that sneak into your home at night and force you to read whatever I have written that day, I wish as if. 

Either way, whether I am feeling guilty, or just plain humbled that I have gotten almost 80 subscribers in 7 short months of blogging, and made so many virtual fantastic friends (soooo weird sounding) through blogging, I just want to give something free away to someone special.

The down side is that it is only really usable for mothers, but it would make a great gift for a mother if you know one, especially one who is or will be nursing a babe at any point in the future.

So without further ado, I present to you....
hahaha, you thought you were going to see a picture of the finished product,
this is just the fabric I used...
A spunky, floral...

Nursing Cover!! (Nasty green table not included)

I had hoped to make a couple to give you something to choose from, but since it took me 17 years to finish this and considering that my sewing pile has at least doubled since I began this one, I figured I would present it and if you no-likey you no-enter.... sorry I don't know what that was all about. 
You can just see yourself wearing this thing all the time, alllllll the time...
having it balled up in your diaper bag, covered in old dry milk, spit up, and other baby bodily fluids,
yup you can picture it.

So how do you get your hands on this lovely little number??
Just become a follower if you aren't already, then leave a comment below saying that you want it! Then tell allllll of your friends about me and how awesome I am and beautiful and talented and the best ever.... sike, just the first two.

Alright, that is it. I have sewn it and soon you could own it. Peace out, folks.



Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Link up and Mike ch...ch...check

Social Media

Linking up with one of my favorite bloggers, Grace, for a first post link-up in honor of 2 years of her blogging and therefore 2 years of people laughing more and being generally happier people.





Also in honor of this fabulous mom-of-a-blogger, I am copying off of her yet again for another post of funny things that Mike says, aka, Mike check.

"You can use that picture, but only if it has a funny caption" -Mike

Last night while comiserating with Mike about how terrible the girls have been recently he said:
"One of us should fake our death to drive home to the girls how much they undervalue us"


After giving Mike a hard time for throwing away a peach after taking one bite, Mike said:
"It felt like I was biting into a sac of puss, can you understand now why I threw it away?"


Mike walked in the room and informed me that he had fixed the broken DVD-VCR player, I asked him how he did it and he said:
 “If I told you, I would lose all my mystique”


During one a Bernadette's every-fourteen-minutes tantrums Naomi asked why Bernadette was crying and Mike replied: 
"I don’t know, I think it’s because her Facebook stocks are down”


While Naomi was talking to Quincy the bee (Mike) she asked Quincy if he needed some sun screen, Quincy answered: 
"No, I don't actually have a dermis"




How long can a dead bee keep a family happy?

A few days ago Mike was outside playing with the girls and I was wasting time being productive inside reading blogs cleaning, of course. I went out to find Mike with Naomi and Bernadette hunched over a little red shovel while he talked in a high pitched voice. They were more intensely entertained than I have ever seen them (except during certain Disney movies, but that says a lot).

I asked what was going on and Naomi explained that they were looking at Quincy the bee, then Quincy spoke, or Mike spoke for Quincy, and Naomi talked back to him like they were long time friends. Naomi requested several times that we get a jar to keep him in, I figured as far as pets go, a dead bee would be the most low maintenance, but Mike wasn't as in to his idea.

But the girls loved Quincy. Every time we went outside they would go over to the little red shovel where he sat and Bernadette would make very intense curious faces at him and Naomi would chat for a long time with him. It was even better when Mike was there, just see for yourself:
Then yesterday, the inevitable happened, we had to send Quincy home (it was only a matter of time before one of the girls ate him). Mike threw him somewhere and said he was "flying away back to his family". No sooner had the girls and Mike sent Quincy home, when Naomi came into the house, sat down in the at her xylophone in the playroom, and sang a song for him:

"Quincy we love you, Quincy we miss you, Quincy come back to us!" 

Soon after the tribute was sung, Quincy called on Naomi's fake cell phone to give an update of how things were going, which softened the blow of his departure immensly.


So the answer to the title question is: at least 2 1/2 days. 


Saturday, June 2, 2012

Naomi the comedian

For all of my griping and complaining about her sleep and "high spirited-ness", I do not think that I give due attention to Naomi the comedian. Along with her high spirit comes way more humor and hilarity than I ever thought I would get in a child (also more tantrums, but that is not what this post is about).
 Here are some gems I have managed to remembered from the last few weeks:
 Naomi in the car while out for some errands after sitting and thinking about something for a while:
"Mom, I think we should have a baby camel instead..."
Then ensued a long conversation explaining why it is that human mothers can only have human babies. Then in Old Navy about an hour later, in front of plenty of people, she gives in:
"Ok mom, I guess we can have a human baby". Thanks for the permission, Naomi.
 While sitting with one of her stuffed dogs on the couch Naomi exclaims:
“Oh no, he went German doops everywhere!" (doops is our work for poop, go ahead, poke fun). I asked her what on earth "German doops" was and she answered:
"It means that he ate too many German pancakes and now it is all over the floor”
Me: "ok"

While eating at a pretend restaurant with me and Bernadette in the living room, Naomi suddenly shouts: “Oh no, this restaurant is terrible! There are dinosaurs and gorillas everywhere and they are going to eat us, let’s get out of here!” And runs away.

Last night before bed I walked in her room, Naomi looks at me, chuckles, then in her lowest, fattest voice she sticks out her belly and says:
"Mommy, do you have a big huge belly?"
Me:"yes, I do"


Friday, June 1, 2012

Take it or leave it, quick style.

In an attempt to make up for a week of blog absence while traveling, I will go ahead and bore you with excessive details about our trip and other things:

1) My beautiful sister-in-law got married and it went swimmingly, that is, they are married. It was beautiful. 
Picture stolen from facebook, I took ZERO. She married the one on the right (her left).
2) Mike and I had a bit of a scare on Wednesday evening after our arrival in Steubenville when we realized that my tent of a bridesmaid's dress and Mike's spandex suit had been left in South Bend. (Mike's suit ended up not fitting anyways, lesson learned-- always try on suit in store when picking it up, also don't trust suit salespeople).
Utterly embarrassing photo of me for poof that we acquired our wedding attire. Photo also stolen from facebook
One of the bridesmaids lives here in SB and we were able to get her into our house and into our closet in order that we would be clothed at the ceremony, we were very grateful.

3) The old MOH speech went off without a hitch, or at least I didn't say anything incriminating or too embarrassing.

4) The remainder of our visit looked something like this:
super blurry picture of Naomi in a life jacket about to board the USS paddle boat= cutest thing ever
Lot's of fun in the sun with Nana and Papa at the Hahn cabin on a lake
 5) And this:
LOADS of fun at Grammy and Gramp's house complete with many tractor rides. I even took them for a ride- too bad we did not capture that, huh?

6) Tuesday was intended to be another super fun Hahn family day but Bernadette's stomach had other plans for us. She woke up that morning utterly exhausted and out of it and before I could say "vomit," she went ahead and and did just that. Many, many times. I had just read Grace's post the day before and thought to myself "I am so glad we haven't had to deal with vomiting children in a while"... solidarity be mine.

7) Last but not least and not in the least bit connected to the rest, just for fun. I am trying to decide whether or not to cut Bernadette straggling hairs/rat tail. When they are curly they generally look fine and even cute:
cute
fine?

When they are straight they all too similar to this:
Straight haired Bernadette is nick-named "Vernon." Growing up in Mingo Junction, I knew many a Vernon with a rat tail. No seriously, I knew several.
 To cut or not to cut? That is the question.

Now we are back in South Bend and ready for some nice weather to come back to us. It is June and the heat actually kicked on in our house today. Redic.

Go the Jen and many others for some fab quick takes.
Happy Friday!