This is one of those posts that I have obviously been adding to for many, many months, and since quite a bit of what Bernadette says makes zero sense, I am very impressed that I gathered this much. Enjoy!
Bernadette: "My good fing might be... Daddy's new, very distinguished, hair cut..."
Ana: Bernadette, you promised that if I let you finish the movie, you would sleep for this nap. You are not keeping your promise by coming out of your room so much, can you please keep your promise?
Bernadette: I will keep my promise, if you could just stop being like that. Like with your face looking like that...
Bernadette: I just want to take that fence down (pointing to the fence between us and the neighbors) so I can see their frog statue.
Ana: Well, we won't be able to because then we wouldn't have privacy
Bernadette: Oh right privaseat! People need privaseat. Especially when they are naked or when they pull their pants down.
After finding a worm and naming it Fredrick:
Bernadette: Oh Fredrick! You are the most beautiful worm I've seen in my whole life!
Ana: Would you guys like some cantaloupe?
Bernadette: No, no, no. Say it wif me, Mom: CANDLE-lope.
After coming out of her "rest space" for the 10th time:
Bernadette: Mom, I have a recipe I just thought up: first you put in bananas and then banana bread then you mix it around and put it in the freezer and it turns into flour dough.... Then you take it out and put coffee and caffeine in it and some rotten eggs and mix it one more time and it then you eat it.
Ana: go nap please
To Bernadette sitting on the floor refusing to get up and walk herself:
Ana: Bernadette, please get up and walk into your room
Bernadette: I just can't! My legs are too short and contempted!
Bernadette: Mom, I have a pregnancy song for you.
Ana: Oh great, go ahead
Bernadette: Pregnancy!!!!!! IS SO DARLING!!!!
While at the pet store, we stopped to look at some birds who had just laid eggs. I let Bernadette know that the sign said to be quiet since the birds were laying eggs. To which Bernadette yell-whispered into the cage: "CONGRATULATIONS!!"
On Palm Sunday, head bowed and hands folded:
"Let us say a prayer to Jesus on this Pulp Sunday!"
Overheard from the kitchen, the resolution to one of Bernadette's story lines in her pretend play:
"And the barbarians lived happily ever after!"
During her play, naming one of her princesses:
"And her name shall be... Green Salvation!"
During her princess play, talking for her princesses:
"And of all the acts of greatness! And believing! And Tigers! This shall be the greatest!"
At the zoo the other day:
"This fresh breeze just makes my heart so unconscious..."