Thursday, October 9, 2014

I think the phrase you're looking for is "bat shit"

Or "train wreck", or "crazy town", pick your poison. I have tried really hard to keep my stress eating tendencies under control these last few months, but I think I am just going to go ahead and wave my white flag because this:

is currently hiding on my desk and I think I will continue to refill the pile until the bag is gone. Whatever works? It's definitely better than some other coping mechanisms. There have been a few days where I have felt like a total baller- staying patient with the craziness of this house, cleaning, doing dishes and laundry and making dinner while not feeling like I might just melt into a puddle of insanity- but those days are more the exception right now for sure.

Despite the fact that Baby Joe was birthed in July and we are now making our way into October, we are most definitely still locked into survival mode and I do not see us making our way out of said mode until something gives. And by something I mean any of the following:

+ Joseph starts to sleep more than a 2 hour long stretch without waking and SCREAMING! HIS! HEAD! OFF! and does so consistently.

+ The older girls go on a thorough detox from whatever crazy pills they are currently addicted to. They're just crazy all the time.

+ Lucy learns a better way to express her various life disappointments than with a massive screaming fit.

+ It's not that I want to send Naomi to kindergarten and Bernadette to preschool, it's just that sometimes I want to send them to kindergarten and preschool. I recently posted this in a facebook homeschooling group:

and it pretty much sums up how every single morning of attempting homeschooling looks like.

The good thing is that we are nearing the end of this "4th Trimester" and while that will not necessarily end up making any difference at all, there are some signs of hope. For instance:

+ Joseph is now finally falling asleep for the night at the same time every night. It is unfortunately a full hour and a half to 2 hours later than his sisters, BUT, I can still count on it every night.

+ AND, he is finally out of our room for the majority of the night, which just make s huge difference in how I sleep during those 2 hour stretches. Quality not quantity here people.

+ Lucy is now sleeping with the older girls at night and we made an executive albeit deceitful parenting decision to go into their room every night and set their clock back an hour. You see, Naomi knows that she is absolutely not allowed to leave her room earlier than 6 which was resulting in her waking up and waking everyone else up at 6 most mornings. However, setting the clock back means she stays in quietly until 7. Because she thinks it is 6. We be good parents.

+ Naomi has picked up several books recently and read full sentences that include all sorts of reading rules that I haven't even taught her yet just using the phonics skills I have taught her so far. I naturally felt like a boss and like I can just quit homeschooling now because she can teach herself the rest, right? But then I remembered that Bernadette doesn't even know the whole alphabet yet and was brought swiftly back to earth.

+ Everyone is alive ad healthy and that trumps all the rest I think.

And now I must go because most parties of the house are screaming.


  1. HA! Every evening is the end of Daylight Savings Time at your house! Fall back!

    You've got to do what keeps you sane.

  2. A. The clock turning back is KILLING me. You all are brilliant!

    B. Homeschooling… You pretty much have my fears canned up in your forum post. However I am seriously hoping to avoid that by still sending the littles to preschool - if possible. But I'm glad I can play the okay-you're-going-to-Catholic-school-now card if things get SUPER hairy

    C. Trail mix - Equal parts - Craisins, semi-sweet chocolate chips (ghirardelli's are worth it), peanuts and Reeses pieces. Pretty much the semi-healthiest addictive-snacking ,emotional-eating mixture EVER

  3. You are amazing!

    Wine and cheese night soon!

    Also - I totally set Ryan's clock incorrectly on purpose all the time. It's the only way.

  4. Ditto Katrina, all of the above.

  5. I've heard of clocks (haven't tried them yet myself) that have a night light that turns green when it hits the time you set it, so they can't leave the room... of course, this probably wouldn't work if Naomi can already read the numbers.
    I always loved the point when the baby wasn't sleeping next to me–I slept so much better! I know cosleeping works for a lot of people, but I'm not one of them.
    Hope it gets easier soon!!

    1. I have one of those, but it's not a clock - it's called the GoodNiteLite (I hate that spelling, love the light) and it's in the shape of a sun with a smile. There's a tiny digital clock on the back to help set the light times. The whole thing lights up yellow when it's "You can get up now" time, and just the face turns blue when it's "GO TO SLEEP" time. I love it. Love, love, love it. Sort of pricey ($35? $40? Around there) but worth it. We've had ours since the nearly-8-yo was 3.

      You will not be sorry.

  6. Oh Lord Ana, my kids can't recognize any numbers, don't know the alphabet in any traditional sense of the concept, and cannot tell any info from a clock unless it is beeping at them.'re doing something right.

    Sincerely, watching Parenthood with headphones in while the boys watch Dinosaur train on another laptop while sitting beside me. Family bonding!

  7. I think three months is the worst because they're not done being little but everybody acts like you should have it together by now. People are wrong survival mode forever!

  8. We have a night light plugged into a timer for 6:30. Keeps 3 boys in their room til the night light turns on. Love your blog!

  9. I totally laughed at your secret skittles comment because it made me think of Jim Gaffigan's fried bread routine. Which, by the way, I am ready for and will inevitably eat sometime in the near future!

  10. LOVE the clock idea, actually. Parental deceit for the win.

  11. When a new baby comes into our home, the baby IS the lesson. That is if we want dinner or at least chips!

  12. The clock thing made me laugh out loud!! I would totally do that. We used to take the kids out to Colorado when they were smaller for a week and they would get on Mountain time. When we would come back to Atlanta, they would then "sleep in" until 8 or 8:30 for the first few weeks we were back. My sister used to accuse me of doing it on purpose!! And after homeschooling 4 kids, watching them learn to read is STILL my most favorite thing of all time. Enjoy it!