Wednesday, May 24, 2017

sit on the porch with them



We have this really wonderful wrap around porch and for Christmas my parents got us a porch swing, it's positively lovely and happens to be Fred's favorite spot. He is crazy and always getting into trouble, but if you go and sit with him on the swing, he will just sit, which is in itself a small miracle.

I have never been good at just sitting still. Prayer is one of the hardest things for me, sitting to read a book takes serious self control- the second I sit down my mind starts reeling with the thousand things around the house I could be doing: homeschooling tasks we didn't get to that I could accomplish, or 10 other more "productive" things I could be doing. This need for constant should not be mistaken with actual "productivity" or being anywhere close to "on top of things". Think of it more like a chicken running around with it's head cut off, or a hamster running on a wheel-- I just need to be moving, and doing, regardless of whether it is something that is actually productive like cleaning the bathroom, it often takes the form of stupid crap like glue gunning family portraits of my kids' play family to their doll house. Needless to say that just sitting with my children-- on the porch swing with my baby who will not be a baby for much longer, with the older kids, who always end up joining us-- is hard.

As difficult as homeschooling is for me, I actually think I thrive on it in a lot of ways because it gives direction to my constant need to do things. This year has been crazy-- there has been near non-stop doing, which is actually kind of right up my alley and I have taken very few opportunities to just sit with them. The new job, the new baby, the move, and then I jumped into homeschooling in the fall (I also worked really hard to get the baby weight off and dropped 30 pounds from August to April) and now we are all done. We are all done settling in, we are all done with school, I am all done losing the baby weight. It's time to just stop for a little bit.

I am looking ahead to a summer of not much-- and I'm a little nervous-- because I stink at not doing much. There will be some light travel and, you know, feeding and clothing this brood, but mostly we will just be staying put and resting as a family, (as much as you can "rest" with 5 small children under foot at all times). Either way I will need to force myself to slow down, to be still, to read more, to pray, to nap, to hang out with the kids-- as opposed to being their constant school-drill sergeant-- to take my time nursing and enjoy these last days of babyhood, to let Joe "hunt" me with his homemade Lego gun, to maybe even bust out a board game or 2 with the older girls, but above all to to soak them in, to enjoy them and just slow down sit on the porch swing with them.


2 comments :

  1. I have been forcing myself to slow down and be with my kids this summer and so far it's been awesome! I'm truly drinking them in.

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  2. Old reader, new commenter here. This is just what I needed to read- I could have written it myself! Here is to a slow summer!

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