Simon Says "Mike Check"?

As I'm sure all of you are already aware (at least you should be), the fabulous and indefatigable Grace, of the oft-linked Camp Patton, has a recurring feature in which she relates hilarious things her husband says (or texts). I'm not gonna lie: it's the bees knees, and I've always wanted to do something similar.

There are several problems with this idea though. First, I don't want to look like a copycat. Second, even if I could pull it off, I could never come up with a good name for the feature ("Simon Says"? brilliant. "Mike says"? laaaaaame). Oh yeah, and third, my husband doesn't say funny things. Don't get me wrong, he's amazing and wonderful in pretty much every other way, but he never seems to say things that are blog-post-worthy hilarious.

Ok, so maybe he does and it's just that I don't want to look like a copycat.

In any case, seeing as how my pregnant brain can't hold a thought, and how I hence can't seem to think of anything to blog about, I've decided after much prayerful discernment to post the following, as a humble, non-recurring homage...

Noticing me in my sweatpants in the early pm, with my computer in my lap and a pop-tart in my hand, Mike said, "I see you've got your snacking trousers on and that you've already gotten down to business."

After hearing me explain my concern over how Bernadette has been especially clingy and sad, he said, "I may have told her that we were returning her to K-Mart after the new baby arrives."

After (thankfully) spending the evening with me instead of working, he looked down at his watch and said, "Well, my paper should be done by now, I should pop down and see how it turned out."

During Bernadette's 17th tantrum of the day, Mike picked her up and said, "You're turning into a real disappointment."

Responding to Naomi's demand to know where mommy was (for probably the 47th time), he said, "Toledo, and she might not come back." (I was in the kitchen.)

While dealing with something akin to Pearl Harbor the other day (really just the girls melting down), I yelled downstairs to Mike for some help. When he got upstairs, he said with a smile, "I have a servant's heart and a fresh spanking hand."

In discussing a possible upcoming giveaway on the blog, I said to Mike that "everyone wants a free nursing cover!" Mike said, "Not me. Well, actually..."