Mike Check

Upon coming out of the girls room after they had gotten up for at least the 10th time after laying them down for bed, Mike said:
"Sometimes you've just gotta spank them. Why?... Why not?"

"The spanking one makes me sound a bit mean, no?"

 Talking to me about the dead transplanted bush in the back yard, Mike said:
"Its a disgrace to bushes everywhere, we call it 'George W'"

Getting ready to head home from dinner at a friend's house, Mike looked at a wobbly Lucy, who I was holding, and said:
"We should probably wait to go home until she's sobered up"

During a conversation about North Korea's constant empty threats, Mike said sarcasticaly- in the voice of North Korea:
"No really, we're really seriously going to bomb you this time, like for reals, we're going to nuke you... Gangham Style."

Ana: "What are you going to do for me for mother's day?"
Mike, dismissively: "I didn't realize I had been birthed by you."

Mike, confused as to my uncharacteristically cheery disposition, asked me: "Are you drunk?"
Ana: "No, I'm just in a good mood."
Mike: "So this is what that looks like!"