7 Quick Takes - "Bad Mother of 2012" Edition

I have been working really hard recently on mastering something that I am assuming most seasoned mothers end up mastering, whether consciously or unconsciously. Since becoming pregnant again and being in a constant stupor of nausea, my need to be horizontal has increased greatly. My preferred place to lay is our living room couch- it is the best but unfortunately there are no toys in the living room, so the children are generally off in another room playing or something. My need to eat constantly has also increased, and so too has the need to eat in secret without my girls' tiny mouths gaping menacingly toward my precious food.

As a result, I have been acquiring a growing knowledge of my kids' needs and their needs. I used run into the room at the first little cry for help by one or the other, but this can no longer happen. I have been working on an in-depth analysis of their needs based on different components of the given situation. I also ask myself a series of questions concerning the situation in order to determine whether or not I will need to summon the non-existent energy from somewhere in my body and attend to the crazies or whether I should let things work themselves out, despite the screaming. Here are some of my observations:

1) The early morning hours are unfortunately when my eldest always decided to relieve herself of all non-liquid bodily waste and therefore there are often cries from the room for me to come and fetch her to go to the potty or change her already soiled diaper. This is an instance that requires immediate attention- when immediate attention has not been given, it has generally led to the carpet needing to be cleaned and scrubbed later that day- not worth the extra minutes laying in bed. This can easily be assessed by the words she is using like "Mommy, I went pooo...!". Alright, on to the next.

2) The pitch of their screams. I am of the opinion that at least my girls, when they are crying, are crying wolf. A toy will be taken away by one and the other screams like someone just killed her puppy. I usually wait a good 3 minutes to see if the screams die down or build up.

3) If loud noises such as doors slamming or thuds and/or bangs accompany the cries, the child should probably be attended to.

4) I try to assess how quiet it has been and for how long? I have always heard moms say that when it is totally quiet, that is when you should be really worried. Going off of this advice, I have ruined many a peaceful moment by running into a room only to find perfectly happy, content children playing or reading or doing something harmless.

case in point

Once they see my face the contentedness leaves and the demands start: "I need juice!", "Beeka!!!!(blankie)", "Baaaoooo (bottle)"- whatever. I am there so they are no longer happy. So I do not go into a quiet room anymore, I listen for surrounding sounds (toys clanging, pages turning, etc) and if it has been a really long time I tiptoe over as silently as possible and attempt to peek in with one eye and not be seen. (If you're really serious you could purchase a picture frame or mirror to hang on a wall across from the doorway so you do not have to go into the room at all but can make sure all is well from their reflection.)

5) Sometimes other sounds will start to concern me, like toys banging together or on other surfaces or things dragging, but again, I try to wait this out and listen for any echoes or ripping- this will give you a good idea of what toy it is (super breakable or not) or if any real damage is being done.

6) If a child politely requests something from me from the other room, on the merits of good manners and sweetness, I generally get my butt up and get it for them. I am not so bad.

7) And if you just enjoy being with your kids and soaking up every second you can with them, you could just be in the same room as them and not worry about any of these things. I love them, but I love my couch perch too.

I think I win the Bad Mother of 2012 award.

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I believe the children are our future.

If this song is stuck in your head for the duration of the day, my work here is done. 

Hahaha (evil laugh)

We've been outside for a lot of 3 minute spurts every 15 minutes for the past week since global warming is finally showing something for itself. This has entailed a lot of dressing the children, coating them with sunscreen, putting shoes on them, going outside, filling the water table, them soaking themselves and then wanting to go inside, bringing them in, re-dressing them and repeating the whole process 15 minutes later. It has been SO fun! (you could cut my sarcasm with a knife)

 Bernadette is completely soaked here, and she was terrible at eating an ice cream cone.

She decided to lay prostrate in front of the door to try to avert an inevitable nasty diaper change. I think she thought I wouldn't see her.

 Is there anything cuter than tiny girls in bathing suits? I submit there is not.

So special.
These girls are going to rule the world someday, you wait and see.
RIP Whitney.

Tips for battle

I took the girls to get "professional" pictures taken yesterday for the second time since Bernadette was born. I hate doing this, or at least I hated it when I did it last time and said I would never do it again or something to that effect. Of course I came to my senses at some point and realized that it must be done, if only to appease the Grandparents. So this time I went prepared and here are some tips I came up with. Chances are these are all obvious to you so this is more for my own pathetic memory lest I forget my own life lessons. 

1) Pick a good age: this was the #1 issue the first time. B was 5 months and Naomi was almost 2 (for some reason we want to have a baby picture taken at 5 months of all our children so that one day we can have a "Baby picture wall" or something- the age is totally random). What I should have done is only taken Bernadette and gotten her standard picture taken because taking a child on the verge of the worst age I have encoutered yet (not that I have encountered many ages). In the end I think I will just never take a 2 year old again.

2)Bring many a treat. No really, load up your purse. If you are a good parent and do not keep things like bulk packages of fruit snacks and super sugary juice boxes around, go buy some and bring them. This was indispensable.

3) Pick a good time of day. No brainer.

4) Be ready to work. Regardless of how good your photographer is, they cannot make your children behave. 

5) Be prepared for meltdowns. No matter how prepared you are, it is probably going to happen.

I am sure there are more, but I am typing this the day after and have already forgotten some of how yesterday even went. Here are some highlights from the sesh.

We're thinking of changing Naomi's name to Naomi "the ham" Hahn.

Accepting the unacceptable

Today has found me defeated once again in the never ending battle of getting my children to nap, I mean to take a decent, refreshing nap that actually leaves them happier people.

This is something that I want to complain about nearly every day via my blog, but I have always stopped myself because, well, I annoy myself when I complain about it. But I lost the battle, I am having a bad day, a friend was bragging about her kid's 4 hour nap on facebook, and my husband is not home, so you win: you get to virtually listen to my scatterbrained whining and if you hate it just exit out and go somewhere less chaotic and happier.

I always feel stupid for needing an alotted time for myself in the afternoon. I mean, lots of moms don't even give their kids a nap and they get by just fine. I am clearly a wimp for needing 30 minutes to lay down and 15 or 20 to have a snack and not share and read something, but wimp or not, I need it.
I will give Naomi some credit because from her birth she would never nap for longer than 45 minutes- ever. Now she'll do an hour on a good day, a big improvement, but Bernadette as severely regressed. She used to sleep for 2 hours minimum and now I am lucky if she does 45 consecutive minutes, an hour on good days, but she is almost always screaming and angry upon waking and that attitude continues for the day's duration.

My main complaint is that I can count on nothing. They are unbelievably inconsistent and the slightest thing will throw them, and consequently me and the whole day off. Like today when the heater was a tad louder than usual and woke Naomi who proceeded to scream and wake Bernadette making nap time 30 whopping minutes. This is unacceptable.
My other complaint is when they do not get the amount of sleep they need which makes them little anger balls during the day, and me a large anger ball. 

I have always encouraged a daily schedule and set nap and bed times. I work really hard on it from the time they are born and I have never reaped the benefits that I feel I should. Plus I know way too many people and have had one too many nap-time conversations at play dates to know that it is not odd for children to sleep for a good chunk in the afternoon. Thus I am constantly angry and bitter that my children can't be like those 3 hour nap time children- I am the worst.

In the end I think I am just selfish and want more time for myself during the day. I am sure one day, God willing, when we have many more children I will just nap through their shenanigans and screams and be so holy that I don't need an ounce of me-time, but for now I prefer to complain.

Good thing a nap replacement named Winnie the Pooh came to the rescue

A young sleeping Naomi back in the day when I used to just watch her sleep

Heat wave

I know you're dying to see more pictures of my children running around outside, and I want to give you what you want, so here you go.

makeup-less, pony tail, baggy jeans. yikes. at least they look cute.

You would think this is a 10 foot long slide. I think it totals 1 1/2 feet.

Too many pictures, you say? Maybe. Ok yes, too many. But seriously look at us! We don't have coats on!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to document this unprecedented last day of Feb 60 degree day, insane.

And this morning I decided to pretend that it was still this nice, even though it had dropped nearly 30 degrees over night, and go for a run, also unprecedented these days. Good start to another good Thursday. Have a good one yourself!

Valentimes

Putting off working out again... so pathetic, but at least I have my priorities straight.
Here are some highlights from our V-day.

Pez dispensers and new clips

definitely brought more joy than I thought they would

for real

happiness abounds

And continues with gratuitous sugar consumption alllllll  day

 And that about sums things up.
While I think it is possible that I have never been this tired in my life, I will summon all the residual guilt from yesterday's calorie fest 2012 and try try try to do something that at least minimally resembles exercise. You have a good day,
Ana

Rock slide

Today I woke up with my 2nd cold in 3 1/2 years of marriage. I knew that eventually all of my annoying bragging about my rock solid immune system would come and bite me in the bottom, no I didn't actually think it would. I am a bit of a baby whenever I do get sick since I never do, so I pampered myself today.

Dinner literally thrown in crock pot and fake homemade bread

Once I stopped pouting on my bed and got myself together this afternoon, I took the little tykes outside to "muck" around in the mud and rocks and what not, and mucky it was.

I also decided to finally alter the last of my thrifted men's button down shirt collection. It was the one I wanted to do the most because I can wear it under my fav mustard sweater.

And... that's about all. I am off to sleep off this plague,

P.S.
Here's another pic of the cutsie hair clip I will make for you if you win my little giveaway!

It's open until Sunday, good luck!

Things they'll remember...

I started writing this post last week, which is something that rarely happens. It isn't that I am a shallow person, I just tend toward more shallow, short blog posts. I don't generally spend more than 15 minutes writing any one post, that is how I keep this thing going.
So last week when I started to write this I realized that it was going to require some extra thought and probably an extra 15 minutes or so, and I just wasn't sure if it was worth it, I think it is. My last thoughtful post was on our little Ignatius and this post is a little spin off of that, but since I have delayed so in finishing it, it has already changed a bit.

After our recent loss, I found myself spending many more hours of our days just sitting with my girls. Playing with them on the floor gratuitous amounts each day, reading more books to them than I generally do, sitting and eating with them at the breakfast table in stead of loading the remnants of last night's dishes into the dishwasher, just staring at them,. etc, you get the point. I was soaking so much more in than I ever had before and it hit me that of everything that happens in our days, those are the thing they will remember. For almost 2 weeks after our miscarriage, I held my girls more tightly than I ever had. I neglected an overwhelming amount of housework and phones calls to insurance companies to just sit with them. It was the best I ever felt during my time as a mother.

I love my mother with my whole heart and she is the reason that I am who I am today (a Catholic woman, striving to be holy and love the Lord instead of lying dead in a gutter somewhere. Exaggeration? Maybe, but maybe not) My mother is phenomenal. She bore and raised 8 children who are all grown and practicing Catholics- not bad. The main thing that I remember of my mom growing up was how well she kept the house. She was constantly moving, taking care of us, cleaning, feeding us, cleaning, busing us around, cleaning some more. Although I know how well she kept our home, the things that stick out the most to me upon real reflection are the quiet moments spent with her. I remember her homeschooling me through preschool, I remember coming home from school and eating in the kitchen while she talked to us, and her giving me back scratches in the evening before bed. I am sure she wishes that she would have gotten more of those moments with me and my siblings now that we are all grown. I feel sure of this because I already feel this way and I only have a 2 1/2-year-old and a 1-year-old. I can feel the days slipping by and it feels so pointless to have spent any day doing more house work than actually spending time with these precious girls.

But those other duties call and I have to answer: so the juggling has commenced. It breaks my heart that I cannot just sit and have long conversations with Naomi about who she wants to marry more: Robin Hood or Peter Pan (it is a serious struggle for her). Or just hold my little Bernadette on my lap for as long as she will sit there and smother her with as many kisses as she'll let me give. At some point I have to switch the laundry around or it will mildew, I have to load the dishes or the food will harden and attract bugs, I have to clean the bathroom because it smells like urine... These things are good and are helping me work out my salvation, but while I am doing them my heart is with my girls because that is where it is meant to be.

I am sure that the struggle to find and seize quiet moments with my little ones will only get harder, especially if God blesses us with more children, but I will continue to struggle because there is nothing more worth while. I am know how imperfect I am and how many unflattering moments I give them to remember me by each day, I just hope that I can outweigh the not-so-good moments with enough sweet ones for them to remember.

Top ten reasons my husband is the best

Today we are celebrating Mike's 29th birthday- he is much older at heart. And in honor of him getting one year closer to the age he is meant to be (about 85-years-old), I am singling out the top ten reasons that he really is the best. Best husband, best father, best man, best all around person I know. I will try to prioritize (10 being the most important reason). And just as a warning, there will be more sap here than a giant Redwood.

1) He can fix anything, or if he cannot he will learn how and then do it.

Helping my dad build our swing set (he got lucky getting my dad's help, but he had all the materials ready to do it himself)

Framing our basement, he had never framed anything before.

 2)He knows everything. Ok not everything, but it almost never fails that if I have a question about something, he will know the answer and I am generally shocked if he doesn't.

3) He is funny. Very funny.

creepy mustache

4) He married me, meaning he has impeccable taste.

yikes

5)He drinks scotch, just plain, like an old man.
6)He makes me 5 minute chocolate cake.

it is amazing

Our positive test from Naomi

 7) He loves babies. If it were only up to him, or if I were superwoman, we would be on kids 4 or 5 or something with some twins thrown in there. He is so open to life regardless of the challenges and is ready to make whatever sacrifices he has to in order to bring new life into the world, while being completely respectful of me being a wimpy overwhelmed woman. He's not putting the pressure on, he just loves babies and it is so sweet and wonderful.

8) He loves our girls and would spend all day with them if he could. He works in his office downstairs and he can barely go 2 full hours without coming upstairs just to give them (and me) a thousand kisses and tickle them and make them laugh. Sweetest ever. Now for a glut of pictures:

9) He is the most loving, supportive, caring, and giving husband. He would do anything for me and I would be like a lost little puppy dog without him.

10) He is the holiest person I know and his love for the Lord calls me on daily. Whether it is seeing him get his daily prayer in every morning or his initiating family prayer times, he is always calling me on to a deeper relationship with the Lord and there is nothing better or more important than that.

So there you have it, proof that he is the best. Happy birthday to the love of my life, Michael Scott (yes that is his first and middle name, also the best) I love you!!!!!!!!