Friday, August 30, 2013

7 Quick Takes

Alright Mrs. Fulwiler, you win. Here are some super quick takes before I get my shiz together to head out in approximately 3 hours for the week . I just can quit the quick takes.

1) Who has 2 thumbs and saw Jim Gaffigan for free last night?

This guy.

And this one.

It was so hilarious, but since it started at laaaaate hour of 10 (that P.M., people), which is incidentally my geriatric bedtime, and since our amazing babysitter came over to sit even though she had a flight leaving at 7:30 A.M this morning, we could not stay nearly as long as we wanted. He was hilar. Here is proof even though you really cannot tell who I am illicitly photographing.

2) Last week immediately after posting my quick takes, I was minding my own business drawing with chalk with the girls outside making my own space unicorn picture when my head started hurting. First it felt like someone was slowly pulling a piece of my hair out so I kept trying to loosen my mom ponytail, but it wasn't getting better. Tthen the feeling changed from someone pulling my hair to someone putting their cigarette out on my scalp. So I put Lucy down, took out my ponytail, and as I tried to touch the spot that was in pain on my head I felt the culprit:

3) It was a bee. A freaking bee. I thought only kids got stung by bees. And the worst part about it? That I couldn't complain about it in my quick takes because I already posted them. Kidding.
No, the worst part was that the kids acted like they were deaf and blind and like they couldn't hear or see that my head felt like it was on fire and just continued to demand stuff from me even as they usually do. It hammered home to me that the hardest part most days about mothering little kids is the lack of an empathy at all.

4) Here's what it's like raising kids who are incapable to feeling empathy yet (these are made up and not actual interactions. But they are pretty damn close.)

"Oh, you desperately need to pee, mom? First could you just make me a plate of waffles real quick? On the waffle iron please, I really don't prefer reheated waffles"

"Aw, mom, your head feels like it is on fire? Well I just noticed that there isn't any juice made so if you could just put the ice pack down and defrost the frozen can of OJ and whip it up real quick, then cut me an apple and butter a piece of bread that would be great" 

"You're in your first trimester and feeling like you're going to blow chunks each and every time you step in the kitchen? Well I have only had 3 morning snacks so far today so if you could just run in the kitchen and put a pot of soup on and bake a loaf of tasty bread to go with it, I would love that." (these are NOT pertaining to the present, i.e. as far as I know I am NOT pregnant)

5) I know this is not actually the case with all kids, but my oldest is especially inclined to not pay any attention to my plights. Bernadette felt really bad for me when the bee had its way with my head, at least for a few minutes, but then she got over it and needed fruit snacks.

6) Then there is the baby that is almost a toddler and waking up 2 times a night. I have completely given in and am pretty much sure that I have missed the CIO boat altogether since now when I try to have her cry it out she stands in the crib screaming "MAMA". I mean, will she at some point just stop and lay herself back down and sleep? I really think she could last most of the night and have resigned myself to nursing her  through the night until she is 12.
She knows how to work me, and work me she does.

7) We are about to embark on our last trip of the summer this morning, or as Naomi calls it "our long journey" and as I do any time I am going to be away from Mike I start acting like I am never going to see him again.  I have purchased enough burritos to feed 7 Mexican families, made 2 large meals and frozen them, stocked the cupboard with more English muffins than anyone could ever eat in a week, and gotten the house cleaner than it ever is so that in the case of my untimely demise people will look upon the house that I ran and not wonder if I was in fact disabled and incapable of running a vacuum every once and while.

Bon Voyage!


  1. So sorry about the bee sting!
    Re #3: YES!!! It is not just your kids; and now that my oldest is 5 we are working on it at least when it comes to her siblings needs.

    Have a great trip!

  2. Oh my gosh. The show was great last night! Tough crowd but I'm so glad some of us old marrrieds-with-kids were there to appreciate the Whole Foods, Victoria's Secret and toddler potty habit portions!

  3. I saw on my Jim Gaffigan Facebook update that he was in South Bend and was lamenting that my bro and sis in law weren't there to see him...but I'm so happy you did! I'd love to see him live one day! And have a wonderful least on vacation when the kids usually wake up double right?

  4. So jealous - I LOVE Jim Gaffigan! And the neediness doesn't end. We have that convo all the time at my house about waiting, and "I'm not your maid/servant/etc." do no avail. And mine are WAY older than yours. And I had one that didn't sleep through the night until he was two. At that point, I was uber-preggo with the next one and I decided I COULD NOT be getting up multiple times in the night with two children, nursing one of them and having the other in my bed for the 2nd half of the night. We did CIO with him and it took two nights. TWO NIGHTS! And that child was sleeping through the night. Kicked myself for not doing it sooner! Just label me sucker-mommy.

  5. Ha! Sounds just like my kids. That and whenever you go to make a call, all hell breaks loose. Why? lol

  6. We let Hannah CIO for the first time at 13 months! "mama" "dada". the whole shabang. It was awful. And glorious. Oh so glorious.

    Have an awesome trip!

  7. Illana over at Mommy shorts just did the CIO sleep training thing with her younger daughter, who I think might be 9 months old....and she did the whole standing in the crib crying thing for a while, too. You might want to read her blog posts about it....they were quite comprehensive (and funny, and painfully familiar).

  8. oh CIO! I finally came to the conclusion that we have to sleep train our 6 (nearly 7) month old starting tonight. So, I'd like to say thanks for the reassurance that the time to do this is now. I totally had visions of him STILL sleeping in his car seat at 18 months...or the other option - waking up every hour in his crib.
    Also - that's so awesome that you got to see Jim Gaffigan!! Have a great vacation!

  9. My 11-month-old does the standing and wailing "MAMA!" thing too, but I haven't even tried CIO so I'll just commiserate with you.

    How cool to see Jim Gaffigan!

  10. This is week 33 of cio with a 11 month old. Oh so fun, but I think he is finally getting it. key? earplugs...I only partially kid.

  11. So now every time I have a little hair pulling I definitely think its a bee...even when it's 4am and I'm laying in bed!

    1. So, true story. A dead bee fell out of my hair when I took it down from being tied up overnight. Especially after I had been all paranoid post-reading your story!

  12. I love that you guys got to go see Jim fo' FREE! So jealous!