3 words: funnel cake balls

--> Just in case any of my super sweet, extra affirming readers think that I have gone off the deep end of worry over my weight or that I am actually really following through with the giving up of all sweets to manage my weight, fear not. I cannot and will not (unless it it’s a serious health issue or something) completely give up sweet things. I certainly do not care that much about how much weight I gain that I would forfeit such a joyous thing as sugar during such a trying time as pregnancy. I've mostly been reacting out of an irrational fear of my Doctor and not out of any extra insecurities over being too chubby. 

So when my pallet had a sudden urge to experience the glorious taste of funnel cake the other day, I gladly conceded. However, it really did not turn out to be the funnel cake experience I had in mind, but rather more of a "funnel cake ball" experience. Either way, deep fried dough+lots o'powdered sugar=happy toddlers and pregnant lady.

I found this recipe using the Google and it was pretty good.

2 issues occurred during the making that I would be aware of if you are going to give it a go:

UNO: The batter was much thicker than I thought it was going to be so when I put it in a gallon bag like it told me to (I didn't have a funnel lying around), I cut the hole waaaaaaay to big which meant that I couldn't squeeze anything smaller than a large ball of dough into the the oil. So it wasn't so much the swirly funnel cake that you expect to see, but actually just deep fried dough balls.
So: cut the hole in your bag small, or use a tiny funnel so that you can end up with something resembling this beauty to the right.

yeah, not so much

DOS: It turns out that our lone "deep skillet" that I used to fry the batter is made with that lovely black calphalon substance, which started coming off all over the deep fried goodness due to the hot hot oil. I am fine eating all sorts of foods of which I am not totally sure of the origin or meats where the cows may be fed questionable things, chickens who are given hormones and what not, but I draw the line at black substances that come off of pans which is not even edible. Once I realized this was happening I just had to be sure the balls weren't touching the bottom of the pan, but next time I will probs just use a pan not made of this questionable substance.

So in the end mother and children were content to enjoy a few deep fried dough balls a piece as the rest were thrown out half blackened by remnants of our pan. Still, we were happy.

**I feel I should let all readers know that previously talked of Dr. Mean Pants was very nice and affirming of my weight gain today, she still made sure to say I want to keep it minimal so as to not produce a mammoth baby, but still she was sweet. 

Happy Monday.

Whiny Weenie

As I approach with sheer terror my next dr. appointment, I have been putting fourth all efforts to keep the added poundage to a minimum- if only to avoid any further awkward/infuriating conversations. As a result I've been doing things like "exercising" and "having no joy in my life at all" "not eating sweets" which requires more than a little self control on my part, as well as averting my gaze from those darned McDonalds billboards slathered with delightful pictures of chocolate dipped vanilla soft served cones.

for the love of all that is good, somebody go out and eat one of these for me

This is most likely all in vain and will probably leave me utterly dejected and depressed after my upcoming visit. The plus side of that though is that I will most certainly eat my fattened sorrows away with the above treat.

As a part of my new desperate-attempt-to-not-gain-weight-routine we've been heading out for morning walks as many days of the week as we can and for as long as we can-- since it's already into the 90s by 9 a.m. and that is just yucky. We follow the walk with some hellish torture Jillian Michaels on some of the mornings.

This morning found me disciplined enough to get us the heck out the door, but I am not going to lie, I wanted to hitch a ride back to our house almost every step of the way. Here are some numbers to give you a glimpse into the fun:

• Number of pointless sprinklers doing nothing for people's yards but hitting the innocent pregnant mother with 2 toddlers just as she passes by-- 10 (or more)
• Number of dead birds run over-- 1
• Number of minutes I HAD TO PEE SO BADLY-- 38
• Number of times I needed push down as hard as possible on the handle of the double stroller to get it to go over the 1 inch bump in the side walk-- 38 appox
• Number of braxton hicks I had to lean on the stroller for support for and breath through-- 38 approx
• Number of decades of the rosary prayed out of desperation that I might not flip out on an whining toddler-- 2.5
• Number of drops I actually had in my bladder after returning home and sprinting to the bathroom to expel-- 10 
• Number of minutes I actually attempted to do any strength with Jillian-- 0
• Number of pounds probably gained from trying not to gain weight with this undoubtedly pointless routine-- who the hell knows, probably 3

I'm not complaining or anything. Wait, yes I am. I'm just a little bitter about the sprinklers.

And because everybody loves a super grainy picture of an increasingly pregnant woman:

more legit 25 wk.pic including head And reeeaaalllly big earrings.

I promise I will figure out my picture thing soon, this is getting to be ridiculous.

Now go read something that is actually entertaining.

4 ingredient recipe=awesome

I've been wanting to post this recipe for some time now and Grace's sweeeeeet little link up today has encouraged me to "just do it", so here we go.

I love macaroons, so when I googled "chocolate chip macaroons and found this recipe that only calls for 4, count em 4, ingredients, I needed to try it and try it I did.

Chocolate Chip Macaroons:

• 2 1/2 cups flaked coconut
• 2/3 cup semisweet mini chocolate chips
• 2/3 cup sweetened condensed milk 
• 1 teaspoon vanilla

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Spray cookie sheets with non-stick spray.

Combine the stuff; mix until well blended.

Drop the goodness by teaspoonfuls (ish) 2 inches apart onto cookie sheets.

Press dough gently with back of spoon to flatten slightly.

Bake 8-10-12 minutes or until light golden brown. My oven is super hot and I HATE overcooked cookies, so I went for about 8 minutes. 

Definitely let them cool for a while before eating or they will just completely fall apart all over you, unless you like that sort of thing, then just go for it.

These are obviously not conducive to the Dr. Meansly diet, but sometimes you just have to stick it to the man. I am still working on responding to all you awesome bloggy friends who have been so sweet in commenting on my somewhat pathetic little post yesterday- let's just say I am completely inspired/encouraged, thank you all so so much!!

A beached whale seeks advice

I'd like to share with you a conversation I had the other day at my almost 22 week doctor's appointment between me and my doctor. Please note a few things:

1) I've waited a few days to spew this out into the internets in order to not call my doctor terrible names and slander her on the world wide web.
2) The actually conversation has been altered a bit for dramatic effect and because I cannot remember it in detail anymore, I mean it was 2 WHOLE DAYS ago.

For the sake of privacy we'll call my doctor, Dr. Meansly. I will be called Ana.



Dr. Meansly: Are there any issues you wanted to talk about? It says here you get terrible migraines and are having lots and lots of contractions with other things that are concerning you and what not....

Ana: yes that's right

Dr: here's a prescription for the migraines.... and you're fine, now let's talk about your weight gain.

Ana: ok

Dr: I am a little concerned about this because you have already gained THIS much weight, and I really don't want you to come in and deliver a 9 pound baby if I am trying to VBAC you. You REALLY need to watch your diet.

Ana: yes, I gained a lot at the beginning since I felt so sick and just needed to eat all the time and whatever I could stomach in order to not be puking all day... (still trying to talk)

Dr: Yes, but you have already gained THIS much and you're only 21 weeks and you've already gained THIS much, you REALLY need to watch your diet...

Ana: (cutting in) yes, I know, but since my last appointment I have only gained 3 pounds and have slowed down substantially so obviously I have changed my diet considerably and will continue to do so.

Dr: Ok, good, because I would have expected any other woman at 21 weeks to have only gained 5 pounds and you have already gained THIS much, so you really need to slow down and REALLY need to watch your diet.

Ana: (trying not to begin weeping and punching all at the same time) Yes, ok, I've only gained 3 pounds since the last visit but ok, I will work on that.



Before the appointment when I looked in the mirror I saw this:

After I pretty much only saw something more akin to a beached whale.

I have over shared about weight before, so I will not go on too long. But I left the appointment wondering a few things:

1) Am I supposed to go on a diet?
2) How much should I work out while pregnant?
3) Is Dr. Meansly being for real that if I gain more than 30 pounds during pregnancy I am going to birth an enormous mini-whale baby?
4) Why do I go to Dr. Meansly again? Right because barely any doctors will do VBACS anymore and I have limited to zero choice in the matter.

Ok, so I answered the last question easily. And honestly, she is a very good, competent doctor and she was very sensitive to us having just miscarried and to the fact that we were a little over-paranoid about how this baby is doing and I really needed that. But I am kind of a sheepish middle child who pretty much always apologizes first because I HATE confrontation and HATE people being mad at me or mean to me and really like NICE people and am very sensitive and cry pretty easily and am not thick skinned and will spare you anymore needless personal details, but you get it. I did not quite know how to deal with the mean factor and the feeling that I was back in my chubby middle school days being made fun of by the mean kid in school.

And as for question #3, it turns out she isn't a complete idiot as I was able to find a few articles right away on a mother's weight gain during pregnancy effecting her child's weight at birth (although the studies seemed to be focusing more on women who were already very overweight and then gain like 50 pounds or more on top of that) but still I guess that is a legit concern on her part, I mean look at me, we can all see I am bordering on obese.

But the other 2 questions left me a bit puzzled and genuinely seeking the advice and sage wisdom of this wonderful blog community of other ladies who have had babies.
How the heck do you get fit during pregnancy without jeopardizing your own health or the health of baby? What sorts of work outs do you like best? (I tried running yesterday and had about 10 extremely painful contractions in about 30 minutes, so we're not going to re-visit that). I have pretty much only done Jillian Michaels and Pilates in the past year, and running when not pregnant- I even did some Jillian today and enjoyed it! But I am thinking that maybe the more huge I get the harder doing never-going-to-be-pregnant-because-of-what-it-will-do-to-my-body-Jillian will be.

So what's your diet/fitness poison while pregnant? DO share, because I cannot face another appointment like that, and I would honestly like to go in and baffle Dr. Meansly with my impeccable strides in the fitness arena at my next appointment.

Monumentals

Yesterday marked some rather ground breaking things in a few different, sort of related, arenas.

1) I went to the doc for my 16 week appointment and found out that, since Christmas, I have already gained back HALF of the weight that I lost last year (if you read the post where I mentioned how much I lost you can do the math, if you didn't I will not divulge it now). Isn't that amazing!?!?! Personally, I am impressed with myself- also a little disgusted- but mostly impressed. If you read this post a while back you know about my preoccupation.

before

after

And back again. Bad lighting+awkward smile=typical ana pregnancy picture

and

2) I participated in the first form of exercise since being about 6 weeks pregnant- a 10 week break from working out and I went from having this as my daily workout routine 4 short months ago:

to barely being able to jog 1/4 mile. Also impressive.

Now I will give myself some credit here and say I had NEVER been that skinny/in shape ever in my life before, so I was bound to regress at some point AND I am actually ahead of the game in terms of where I was weight wise when I was pregnant with Bernadette- so I am feeling good.

But with all that said, I am beginning my pregnancy diet/workout regiment to attempt to not gain an average of 8 pounds every doctor's appointment. This plan really just means:

• no more daily fast food, for every meal
• no more mid-morning hot dog snacks
• no more nightly reeses cups (sniff)
• not more middle of the night confetti cake 
• do anything at all by way of physical activity. I think I will try some of Dwija's tricks.
• maybe try to eat every 3 hours instead of every 2

It's gonna be rough people, I am not gonna lie, but I think I can do it.

3) Unrelated, but watch out, I am sewing again.

And it is going to rock your world

4) And the last monumental thing that's been happening recently worth noting:

The girls are finally deciding to both smile for pictures together (yes that is a smile for Bernadette there) and it is making for some better pictures. 

Here's to changes on many fronts!

Blerggg

Well, I have officially exposed myself and my hidden guilty pleasure: fashion blogs.
I know how much you all care about every minute detail of my life, so I will go into as much detail as I can.

I mostly look at fashion blogs at the end of really, really bad days (or at least that was the case at some point). It is a great way to zone out and think about as little as possible. After a rough days of chasing children, cleaning vomit or disgusting soiled pants, holding down flailing limbs whilst wiping another human being's bottom, etc... (I will spare you all the other random probably gross elements of motherhood)- after long days like this I just want something to do that requires little to NO energy- like eating candy. Fashion blogging is candy for the eyes. It is like window shopping without the walking. Great. Right?

Except there are some problems associated with this guilty pleasure, or else it would not make me feel guilty.

Off the bat, know that I AM NOT saying that these things are problems for YOU, just me. If you can relate with the problems then yes, perhaps they are also problems for you. But you are probably just a more temperate, well balanced and better person than me. Seriously.

First problem with perusing fashion blogs: It keeps my mind focused on the more temporal aspects of this life. As a mother, I really need to try to focus on the eternal things otherwise all of those little, really gross and annoying things (listed above) start to seem extremely pointless and even crushing day, after day, after day, after day.....

Second problem: It makes me want to shop. This is a very serious financial issue. I can always tell when I have been looking at fashion blogs a lot because all of the sudden we will be making extra trips to target's sale racks, the mall (for the "play place") and local thrift stores, it is not good. We do not have money for me to be shopping ESPECIALLY for the sorts of things I am looking at on these  blogs. I consider a $20 blouse to be expensive, and that is chump change compared to the prices on so many of the pieces I so desire. They are beautiful and I am sure they are really well made, but Mike is in school and therefore the only shopping I am really supposed to be doing is thrift store shopping, and even that can get expensive.

Third:
It keeps me wanting needing more- I am never content because styles are always changing and if you want to keep up, you cannot be content. For instance for about 2 months I was on a mission to find a mustard sweater and it pretty much consumed my every thought for many, many hours of many, many days- it was a problem. Then I went on a mission to find red pants, I took many trips to several stores, spent many minutes hours online drooling over as many pictures of trendy reds as I could.
I start to be super ill contended with my own clothing. I think of the current trends that I have just discovered, I look at my closet and it just does not  measure up, I need more. This is a bit of a problem, I think.

Fourth and final (I am sure there are more, but I will only list three before you start falling asleep):
They pretty much all make me want to be skinny so that cute clothes look cuter on me. Comparing myself to other beautiful, slim women is a struggle and it makes that struggle just a liiittle bit harder if I am looking at picture after picture of beautiful slim women.

Knowing all of these problems, you would think I would cut out fashion blogging all together EXCEPT that, while I have pin pointed several negatives, I have not mentioned any positives. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best and put together- this is good. There is nothing wrong with even wanting to be stylish. There is even nothing wrong with shopping (in moderation) which is why I am trying to strike some sort of balance.

I really enjoy looking at blogs that are "in-betweenies"- where there is lots of other stuff, mommy related, home related, etc. mixed in with some fashion stuff. Grace's blog is a favorite, as well as Anna's.

Leave a comment with some good in-betweenies so that I can still look presentable without driving our family bankrupt or becoming a terrible person.

I hope I am not being preachy, I am really really trying not to be preachy.
Betty Draper signing off,
-Ana

Eeek, weight

To highlight some massive insecurities, I will write about weight.

I just got a new scale. I had to get a new scale because the new scale that I got just a few months ago broke. I didn't know it was broken though, I just thought that I had gained five pounds. The day after I made the most fattening brunch ever I stepped on the scale (I may or may not weigh myself daily, I don't know if that is weird) and it said that I was a full 5 pounds heavier than the day before. I know that the brunch was bad for us but 5 POUNDS?!?! So I moved the scale all around the bathroom, I messed with the little feet thingies on the bottom, I took the batteries out and put them back in and it only continued to tell me that 5 pounds had molded themselves most likely onto my midsection and were not going anywhere by moving the scale around. For the next week I freaked out mentally, worked out every single day, started counting points more closely (I love Weight Watchers) and no matter what I did the stupid scale would tell me the exact same, extra five pounds weight every single day- it was starting to make me a bit crazy if you can't tell.
I figured that this was a result of not nursing anymore, but I was getting pretty angry that no matter what I was doing not even the .3 at the end of the 3 digit number would go away.
Mike kept telling I am beautiful and all of my clothes were not fitting any differently, but I seriously thought that I could see the extra fat, I could see it. I realize that there are self image issue here still playing themselves out from years and years of awkward insecurity, and I am sure that they will always be there to some degree or another, hopefully a much smaller degree. Anyways...

A friend of mine here is SB who's had babies around the same time mentioned nonchalantly at a play date that she wondered if we would ever have to actually "Try" to lose our baby weight (hers had just fallen off from nursing and being all temperate and what not). I was thinking to myself "I DO TRY!!!" but just smiled and pretended that I never make the slightest effort. I am not one of those women, I have had to make a serious effort this time around to get back to pre-pregnancy weight.
The reason that those extra 5 pounds were/are such a big deal is that as far as I know, without those 5 pounds, that is the least I have ever weighed since I cared about weighing myself- I was a rather chubby middle schooler and I am sure I was smaller in high school, but I don't think that my parents even owned a working scale, very very smart. It was a glorious day when I randomly stepped on a friend's scale, about 6 or so months ago and saw that I was 5 pounds smaller than I was at my wedding. I wish I had never even done that though because then I went out and bought a scale to make sure that I stayed that weight. Now to my credit, my main reason for freaking out about the 5 pounds is that I am assuming that I will be pregnant before I know it and without the extra 5 I would be 20 pounds smaller than I was when I got pregnant with Bernadette (our 2nd). So far with both girls I have gained somewhere between 40 and 50 pounds, so to be 20 pounds ahead of the game this time around would be flipping awesome! I am sure I will still gain a lot but the end weight will be much more manageable. That is a justifiable reason for over-obsessing about weight, right? I think so.

So yesterday I weighed myself in the a.m. when I would have been the smallest and it said that same, stupid 5 extra pound weight and so I decided to go ahead and weigh myself much later in the day, right after I had eaten, with all my clothes on and.... it said I was 3 pounds lighter than in the morning. I knew the thing was broken, so I went straight to Bed Bath and Beyond and returned the thing and got a new one, which read my typical, happy weight of 5 pounds lighter than I was at my wedding. The amount of relief that I felt was, I am sure, disordered, but no less sweet. Now I can be more at peace at conceiving another child and not be so paranoid about my ridiculous weight gain.






Don't judge me for being crazy,
Ana