Accepting the unacceptable

Today has found me defeated once again in the never ending battle of getting my children to nap, I mean to take a decent, refreshing nap that actually leaves them happier people.

This is something that I want to complain about nearly every day via my blog, but I have always stopped myself because, well, I annoy myself when I complain about it. But I lost the battle, I am having a bad day, a friend was bragging about her kid's 4 hour nap on facebook, and my husband is not home, so you win: you get to virtually listen to my scatterbrained whining and if you hate it just exit out and go somewhere less chaotic and happier.

I always feel stupid for needing an alotted time for myself in the afternoon. I mean, lots of moms don't even give their kids a nap and they get by just fine. I am clearly a wimp for needing 30 minutes to lay down and 15 or 20 to have a snack and not share and read something, but wimp or not, I need it.
I will give Naomi some credit because from her birth she would never nap for longer than 45 minutes- ever. Now she'll do an hour on a good day, a big improvement, but Bernadette as severely regressed. She used to sleep for 2 hours minimum and now I am lucky if she does 45 consecutive minutes, an hour on good days, but she is almost always screaming and angry upon waking and that attitude continues for the day's duration.

My main complaint is that I can count on nothing. They are unbelievably inconsistent and the slightest thing will throw them, and consequently me and the whole day off. Like today when the heater was a tad louder than usual and woke Naomi who proceeded to scream and wake Bernadette making nap time 30 whopping minutes. This is unacceptable.
My other complaint is when they do not get the amount of sleep they need which makes them little anger balls during the day, and me a large anger ball. 

I have always encouraged a daily schedule and set nap and bed times. I work really hard on it from the time they are born and I have never reaped the benefits that I feel I should. Plus I know way too many people and have had one too many nap-time conversations at play dates to know that it is not odd for children to sleep for a good chunk in the afternoon. Thus I am constantly angry and bitter that my children can't be like those 3 hour nap time children- I am the worst.

In the end I think I am just selfish and want more time for myself during the day. I am sure one day, God willing, when we have many more children I will just nap through their shenanigans and screams and be so holy that I don't need an ounce of me-time, but for now I prefer to complain.

Good thing a nap replacement named Winnie the Pooh came to the rescue

A young sleeping Naomi back in the day when I used to just watch her sleep

Pretend nap time

 Wherein Naomi herds myself and Bernadette into her room and up into her designated bottom bunk to make us pretend to sleep.

It is no piece of cake climbing into that bunk with the child proof railing, I am a large mother. Once I am there I am settling in for the duration of my snooze. I am a tired mother.
But this is not pleasing to Naomi...

who insists on me closing my eyes for all of 5 seconds, opening them and climbing back out of the bed, walking around for 5 seconds and then repeating the process of pretend napping.
Well this was not even close to fun for me, so I put the kibosh on the torture fun.
And now it is real nap time, thank you, Jesus.
Happy Bernadette,

I think the top-of-the-head-pony keeps her from looking like a mullet-headed trucker named Gene, what do you think?

I'll pop your balloon and cowl addendum

Every day I scheme about different things I can do/not do/offer/take away/threaten/etc... in order to get my first born to get into her bed for her regularly scheduled 20 minute afternoon power nap and as of late I have been feeling like a worse and worse mother.
It has gone from me telling her to do it and her obeying out of shear respect for my authority and love for her dear mother (I tell myself that that was how it once was) to me on my knees begging her to go without me having to pick up her solid 40 lbs of dead screaming, kicking weight and put her into her bed. I have offered anything from videos and fruit snacks to trips to the mall play place immediately following her nap (and actually following through on it, pathetic). Then if all offerings do nothing I move on to empty threats, which I just pray I am not forced to have to follow through on because I probably won't.
But then today I discovered what may be the key to our discipline success.

"I will pop your balloon if--- (insert whatever)" and she will do/not do anything.
Cruel and unusual? Maybe, but I would invest in a helium tank if I knew this would continue to work like such a charm. Desperate times...

And yes, that does say "South Bend Chocolate Company" on the balloon, and yes, it is as wonderful as it sounds. You should come here and we'll go eat some chocolate together.

Here's the larger than life button that I added to the lazy little cowl I made:

Have a good one!

Sleep is for the weak: progressively regressing

I refuse to nap today. I hate spending the one chunk that I get during the day where I can sit and listen to *nothing* laying in bed hoping that I will actually fall asleep for the whopping 15 minutes that my body will occasion nap for. I am such a sucker though, and I always try.

So today instead of dealing with the sleep loss, I will type my fingers off about it. I have been trying to come to terms with the fact that I will not feel rested again until I am somewhere in my 40's and by then I will not need as much sleep and will probably have a better life perspective and prefer to lose sleep if it means getting time with my little ones, but for now I choose mostly to complain about it, or at least to vent. I have spent the better part of Naomi's life complaining about how she is a terrible sleeper, so today I will pick on the littler Beezie, affectionately called.

Yesterday, better late than never, the little 13-month-old decided to start prancing about the room on her feet instead of her knees. It was a monumental occasion and there was much delight and clapping and perhaps a joyful tear shed by all, or just me. You would think that with the onset of this new skill, which moves her much closer to the toddler category from the baby one, that she might get a clue and let her sleep skills follow suit, but no. Her wailing and grinding of teeth woke me at both 12 and 4:30 and the almost toddler who cut herself off from all nursing just a week ago would only be soothed back to sleep with just that. I wanted to sarcastically asked her in the middle of the night what the heck she thinks she is? A 2-day-old? (baby humor, she would have gotten it). But in all honesty, and especially since my actual toddler slept til the late hour of 7 (which is genuinely sleeping in for her and me) I did not mind getting up with her because I really did feel sad to see my little Bernadette be not so much a baby anymore while he was taking those steps yesterday. I am such a sap. However, if she keeps this night waking thing up, I am sure my emotions will turn quickly enough and she'll be cut off. But for now, who the heck needs sleep, anyways?

The Super Skinny Mocha

Hahaha,
I don't know why I think that is a funny name for a coffee drink. I mean I think if I wanted to be "Super" skinny, I would not be spending a chunk of nap time making/drink/typing out recipe for my new delicious coffee drink, I would be grunting and sweating nap time away to the tune of Jillian Michaels.

Anyways, here is a little recipe I threw together for a low calorie, low/no sugar, high caffeine skinny mocha:

Ingredients:
1) non-fat milk- about 6 oz, or more or less based on how big your coffee mug is
2) coffee- ideally espresso made in an espresso machine, but if your more ghetto like me just use regular coffee and make it double strength.
3) splenda- if you are of the more granola-ish brand you may choose to use natural sugar or even sugar in the raw, but I always prioritize weight management to actual health, whatev.
4) cocoa powder 1-2 teaspoons
4) a dash of cinnamon

If you have a milk steamer, steam your milk, or if you don't (I don't) just microwave it for about 1 1/2 minutes

If you're using an espresso machine, make your 1-2 shots of espresso based on the size coffee drink. I used my French press and put 4 scoops of coffee in it but only added about 1/2 cups worth of boiling water. Let it steep for 3 minutes (this is the appropriate time, I know this from my Barista training).
If you only have a coffee pot, just make about 1/2 of coffee but put at least 3 scoops of coffee in, if you're anxious as to whether there will be enough caffeine add as much as you need to ease that anxiety- this is my method.

Once your milk is hot, add cinnamon, splenda (of whatever sugar type you'll be using), and cocoa powder- stir vigorously :)
Add coffee, stir again and enjoy. Repeat.

Happy nap time!
Ana