Quick, boring, takes

Joining Jen and others for some quick takes to round up our week thus far.
I will warn you now, the boredom from reading may kill you.

1) One of my 2 besties here in the Bend moved far far away yesterday (I know, way to start the quick takes off on a bright note, Ana, you're the best!). But it's pretty much the main piece of news I've got for the week, and has left me only 96% down in the dumps, not too bad. I plan on writing a little homage to her at some point, but I am assuming that will require some actual thought and that it maybe shouldn't be written while fending the girls off with my feet. So, it may take a while.

I'm going to be fine

2) On that note, the interview process for a new best friend has commensed, I have written up a few criteria that I plan on sending out int he local news papers. Here are a few:
WANTED: A NEW BEST FRIEND. Must have:

• a cheerie disposition
• rosie cheeks
• be willing to play games
• no warts
• never cross or cruel
• are you catching on?

3) As a result of these recent sad occurances, I have been eating away my sorrows, as well as patting myself on the back for a job well done, with these little PUPPIES. Seriously, why did it take me so long to look up a recipe for oven-less chocolate chip cookies, it is JUST LIKE EATING COOKIE DOUGH. What could be better?

VIA

Now I must give the disclaimer that I substitute every even remotely healthy ingredient in this recipe for the unhealthy variety: all I can say is if you do that you will not be disappointed. I cannot speak for the healthy form of the recipe, but I know is my gut tells me that chocolate chip cookies should never try to be healthy. the end

4) We're having some fam-a-lam come to town in a few days, which means it is time for some of my semi-annual house cleaning, which I have motivation to do only when comparing it to the motivation I have for the alternate activity of working out. There is NOTHING I want to to less than to work out. Why?

5) Um, maybe because, since it only ever rains here or is so humid that you cannot breath and are left pealing your own skin off, that makes it so that going for our little morning jaunts is no longer a possibility. This leaves me with only one other workout option here to be done in the house. Which is pretty much like throwing yourself into a lion cage every morning.

So I chose to clean.

6) I am a whopping 27 weeks pregnant now, with no belly pictures for you, because you will be utterly convinced that I have my due date wrong and am in fact a full 40. Let's just say I am somewhere between this:

And this:

So maybe next week.

7) We are celebrating the triumphant return of QUINCY THE BEE! this week. A long lost family friend/pet who has come back a larger, hairier, totally different bee. The short explanation: dead bees make excellent house pets. The link above will provide much more explanation.
I will leave you with a not-so-quick video showcasing some of the excitement on his return:

Things I don't like to do: Pregnancy edition

Joining the ever awesome Jen for some free complaining via 7 quick takes this blazin' Friday.
Since I figured that you are dying to know the top 7 things I do not ever want to do while pregnant, here they are-- 7 being the one I want to do the least of all-- for your reading pleasure:

1.

Eat healthily. You may recall from several of my pregnancy posts that this is a struggle. It is my main struggle during the first trimester and then for the rest of the time it isn't that bad except for when I just want to plop down on the couch and enjoy a 1/2 bad of frozen chocolate chips. Then it's hard.

2.

Not talk about pregnancy. That is, while I am pregnant, I could sit and talk pregnancy for hours, HOURS I tell you. This is something I am not proud of and am working on since I know the rest of the world should be spared gratuitous uterine talk.

3.

Not drink. All I want to do is drink when I am pregnant. It always sounds good and can not always happen as it is generally frowned upon-- at least in public. And let's be honest, if there were ever a time you could use a stiff drink it is during pregnancy, especially when there are other small hellians at your feet all. day. long.

Just enjoying a potent afternoon cocktail at 9 months pregnant. C'mon, we all know that Mad Men=real life

4.

Give birth to the baby. I am terrified of all things labor and prefer to be in complete denial up until the day that things absolutely must happen. Which is why my second birthing experience being a c-section was not half bad. As Steph aptly describes it, it was pretty much like going into Starbucks, ordering your coffee and taking it home. 
But I could really do without the whole recovery from a major surgery/having my entire midsection sliced open/not being able to role over in bed by myself for 2 weeks, etc... I prefer to rip the band aid off and take the babe home like I did the first time. I am, nevertheless, terrified. 

5.

Cleaning. Shouldn't someone else be doing this for me while I am in this condition?

6.

Working out.  Again, shouldn't someone else be doing this for me while I am in this condition?

as proof that while I DO NOT WANT to do any of these things, I do them anyways (occasionally). And I force my children to do them with me. Look at Bernadette's form on that push up. Impressive.

7.

Wake up. If I could I would sleep the pregnancy off, labor in my sleep, and then be holding the baby. I am barely partially kidding.

What are your least favorite activities during pregnancy??

Where is the maid?!?!?

I have heard fellow stay-at-home mom friends make jokes in passing (when referring to the not-so-clean state of their home) like "Sorry, the maid didn't show up" or "Where is the maid?!?! When is she getting here?". Today I decided that this should not be such a joke. It shouldn't be so preposterous to think that we SAHMS would hire someone to help us stay on top of our thousand household duties in order to stay on top of our (my) always shaky sanity.

I mean, we stay at home, right? Our homes are our jobs, right? Why hire someone to do our jobs for us? Isn't that just lazy? Well if staying at home, being a house wife and keeping things clean and tidy was all you had to do and you hired someone to come and do it, then yes, that would be lazy. I was a little unemployed house wife our first year of marriage- granted I was pregnant within days of being married- but none-the-less, keeping our house looking decent was no big thang.

BUT THAT IS NOT THE ONLY JOB WE STAY AT HOME MOMS HAVE.

You see, we are MOMS. We have children. Children who poop on the floor. Children who cry and cry and whine and cry allllllllllllllll day unless you hold them and when you set them down it starts all over again. Children who need to be played with, read to, tickled, chased around, watched at every second or they may set something on fire, break glass and cut themselves, drink bleach, run out of the house and get hit by a car, you name it. Children, who if we let them, could take up every single freaking bit of our thoughts, energy, emotions, of our whole life. They are enough work in themselves. Period. ONE child is enough work in his/her self. And then you have another, and another and another- it doesn't matter how many you have. Just that very first one was enough to take up all of your time.

Left-the pooper; Right- the whiner

So it is absolutely not a joke in my mind to think about having a maid. I want a maid. If we had enough money, I would hire one. Not a nanny- my kids are my kids, I bore them, I birthed them. I want to stay home with them and be present with them, they are my first priority. I would hire a maid to come and give me a hand for 1 hour a day with house work. No body wants to sit in a filthy house, especially not me. I need order, I crave it. I need some level of cleanliness. Order and cleanliness are good and they make me happy.

I genuinely believe that there is so much value in house work- eternal value and material value- but there is so darn much house work. There is enough to do in one room of my house to keep me busy for an hour maybe 2. Then you add the 7 other rooms and, I am sorry, it is not possible to stay on top of this by myself.

 laundry=the worst

So what do I do? I whine and complain and I do it anyways, but if I had a maid there would not be such an annoying amount of whining and complaining from me. And I am sure that my kids would be much, MUCH happier as I would probably be much, MUCH nicer to them instead of getting angry when they make it impossible for me to have some order and cleanliness in my day... In short, everyone should have a maid.

Sorry for whining,
Ana

Bad decision

Another doozie of a Saturday here. Do you ever feel like your days are full of a string of really bad little decisions? I do. I feel like most of my days are full of me saying "I really shouldn't have done that".
"I really shouldn't have gotten the short hair cut that now makes me look like a little boy"

Little boy hair and shirt!!!

"I shouldn't have left the house without an extra pair of pants for Naomi"
"I shouldn't have gone to the library without an extra pair of pants for Naomi" (As I run out of the lobby with her yelling that she peed her pants"
"I shouldn't be blogging, but rather cleaning my disgusting house"
"I shouldn't have eaten 4 Reese's cups"
"I probably shouldn't let the girls eat an entire box of raisins"
(During diaper changes) "I definitely shouldn't have let the girls eat the entire box of raisins"
"I should not have tried to make up my own recipe for dinner, this is the worst tasting thing ever"
"I shouldn't be letting Naomi watch 3 movies today"
"I shouldn't eat 1/2 bag of skittles right before bed"



 Since most of my decisions are informed by my own knowledge and experience in life and as a wife and a mother, they are generally bad since I have next to no knowledge or experience as a wife and mother. It makes you wonder why they let just anybody get married and bear children.
I take comfort in knowing that even if Mike has no idea what he is doing, he is always much more confident than me and almost always makes much better decisions, and there the balance lies! I feel sure so far that 3 very good decisions (maybe the only good ones?) made thus far have been: Mike, Naomi and Bernadette, so at least I can do something right. Hopefully when I am in my 50s looking back I will notice that exponentially my terrible decisions decreased daily and that I am now perfect.

Very good

Husband: good decision. Hair: BAAADD decision

Happy decision making
Ana