Thursday, February 21, 2019

30 weeks + the name

And just like that we are already heading down the last decade of weeks until we get to meet our sweet little one (starting tomorrow, technically, but I'm measuring a few days ahead so I call the eve of 30 weeks, 30 weeks). I would absolutely be remiss if I didn't type out a few of my thoughts and feelings surrounding this pregnancy before it's over.


I have never- ever ever ever cherished a pregnancy like I am cherishing this one. Does this mean I never complain? Ask Mike (muwahahahaha). No. But I've definitely tried to complain less than my others and I truly do see every single difficulty of pregnancy as a gift and a reminder that I am carrying this undeserved child, whereas with my other pregnancies the difficulties were just... difficult. 

Sometime during our year of miscarriages I was doing some organizing in our storage closet and came across 2 bins of tiny spring time baby girl clothes from when I had Naomi. I got fairly emotional and while the practical side of me was yelling at me to just donate them, I stopped and said a very earnest prayer that God would bless us with another baby girl during some future spring time. And I kept them, trying to be hopeful.

I am pretty sure I prayed that prayer before our 3rd miscarriage and after that 3rd miscarriage I really did start to lose a lot of hope that we would conceive again for a long time, if ever, and I had all but forgotten that prayer. However as our spring due date with our little baby GIRL draws closer I think of that prayer every single day. I think of how beautiful it is that God cares so much for each and every detail of our lives, of our hearts and of our desires. I am so so thankful.

This is the first pregnancy since I was pregnant with Naomi that I have been so present. Present to every week, every milestone, every kick, every hiccup. I don't want to forget. I am so aware now more than ever that this is a very specifically special gift and I do not take for granted that we will be given more of these sorts of gifts. I am loving every second of it. Like a first time mom I have several apps on my phone giving me daily updates of how big baby is and what's new with each week.

Also during our miscarriage year and while we were trying and hoping to conceive Mike came up with the name Anastasia Zoe, which means "Resurrection and Life", very fitting for a rainbow baby. We had no idea if we would ever get to use the name, but as soon as the ultrasound tech told me we were carrying a girl I began calling her just that, Anastasia Zoe- our little ray of hope.

When I was pregnant with Naomi her due date was April 2nd and she came on March 23rd. All of our babies since then have come at least a week -but more like 10 days- early, and I when recently did the math I realized that since I am due May 3rd, a week or so early would fall right during Easter week! (and even if I don't go early Easter season lasts for so long it works either way!)

So that's where I'm at mentally at 30 weeks and that's our baby's name, Anastasia Zoe, "Resurrection and Life", a gift straight from a good and loving God who makes all things new.


One of my very weird side effects of this pregnancy is terrible carpel tunnel so I have typed this entire post with semi to no feeling in my fingers!! Sorry had to get one complain/brag in there for old time's sake and good measure.

14 comments :

  1. What a beautiful name for a precious and loved and cherished little girl!

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  2. I’m 32 weeks with number 4, and I’m having terrible carpal tunnel, too! It’s so annoying!

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  3. So glad for you! I’ve had carpal tunnel with a couple pregnancies— if you haven’t tried it yet, a wrist brace (got mine at Walgreens) made a huge difference! Just wearing it at night was a help.

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  4. Beautiful name!
    Sorry about the carpel tunnel!

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  5. What a beautiful name! And you look totally fabulous!!! So so happy for you!

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  6. What a great testimony! Praise God!

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  7. Prayers for you and your little zucchini-sized Anastasia! <3

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  8. This is so beautiful! So many prayers for you for these last few weeks, her name is absolutely beautiful

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  9. So beautiful and thank you for sharing!

    I'm 36 weeks with #5 and the pregnancy carpel tunnel is soooo awful! I had it a little bit with #2, but this is full-on-hands-going-numb-all-throughout-the-day ridiculousness. Also, how can fingers be numb and hurt at the same time?! I'm sorry you have it too!

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  10. Congratulations! I, too, am due during Easter week (Apr 23) and this is our rainbow of hope after a year of mcs in 2017/18. Many prayers that this last stretch goes well! ❤

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  11. Ok I can relate to do much of this. I'm so happy for you. I think Anastasia Zoe is beautiful. Will you call her Anastasia? We have considered that name before but not knowing how to shorten it, with my name being Anna, gets us every time.

    My 3 year old is named Catherine Zoe, after Catherine Labore, who was called Zoe, until she joined the convent. I don't know it meant Life.

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  12. I'm holding my sleeping 4 month old gift and nodding to everthing. Hours was the most difficult pregnancy so far, but came along side so many friends losing children which makes me hold him so tight now.

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  13. Oh my goodness! I just had a baby and had the same problem with my fingers!!! It was crazy but babe will be two weeks tomorrow and my fingers are almost back to normal, I'm so glad! I've never heard of anyone else having it! Praying for you, lovely name!

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