Tuesday, March 4, 2014


The happiest of fat Tuesdays to you and yours from the land of air that is always freezing and of skies that are mostly grey. I would type up some grand, inspirational Lenten post for you, but then I would have to kill the phony impostor who kidnapped the real me and is writing fake good posts from my blog. So no, this is just another pointless beginning of the week rant to add to the masses in the archives.

In no particular order and of absolutely no importance at all, here are some randoms factuals:

First: We bunked the girls beds on Sunday.

Wait, scratch that, MIKE bunked the girls beds on Sunday because he doesn't work on Sundays and as he put it "was feeling bored and antsy and wanted something to do" (I just want to make sure the blame is squarely on the appropriate individual). Anyways, it has been the source of much excitement and merry play for the girls who have little to look forward to anymore since I am the least fun mother of all time and refuse to give in to cabin fever with any sort of fun indoor craft or mess-making activities like those found in this book that the girls read all the time and beg while I furiously shake my no:

These and other sorts of similar Pinterest-esque things are an abomination unto me and will have no place within the confines of this home, but coloring does- endless coloring.

I have also been trying to cut down majorly on screen time since the girls have watched easily 1000 hours of crap while I lay in a puddle 1st trimester nausea and exhaustion and so now that I am starting to feel a bit better I am trying to rip the TV baindaid off and while they weren't happy about it at first, they are tolerating it fine. So the beds are bunked and now they have an indoor jungle gym and no longer sleep to the ever-so-late hour of 6:30 but have been sporting really fun pre-6 a.m. wake times which I blame entirely on the bunkage and its novel fun. I am hoping the fun wears off and it becomes normal so I can sleep in again.

Dos: I was baking cookies with the girls yesterday, which was against my better instincts but it wasn't as bad as all the crap in the above book so I figured I would mix it up. I was alternating between one girl putting in an ingredient and the other doing the next on the list and so on. It was time for Bernadette to do the vanilla, but I had to throw something in the trash real quick so I turned my back, which was the dumbest move ever. Naomi quickly unscrewed the cap, handed the bottle to Bernadette who promptly dumped as much of the bottle into the dough as she could before I jumped at her and grabbed it. I dumped as much out into the sink as I could while holding the rest of the dough back but suffice it to say they were certainly not lacking in the vanilla flavor department, but at least it wasn't the salt.

Third: I am a liar and also did this with them today, but it almost killed me:

I feel 100% positive that no more than 15% of the seeds will sprout since I am pretty sure there were roughly 25 carrot seeds dumped into that tiny space, despite the sign's insistence that there will be only one. Either way, I am giving myself props for attempting to do anything at all with them other than ordering them back to the coloring table.

Four: I have been holing up at home and intensely wary to leave the house more than usual since we have entered another wonderfully crazy tantrum phase with Bernadette. I will not torture this readership with more posts on that subject but I have come to the definitive conclusion that I am receiving Divine recompense for the hell I put my own mother through when I was Bernadette's age and until I was 12 (the age my mom sited as of last weekend).

I am rather terrified to see how many years these go on for since I have never seen another child rival her ever ever ever. The tantrums are so crazy that I actually sprinkled holy water on her during one of last week's events, which only made it worse. Anyways, it is not like I needed another reason to not go out of the house since the never ending winter from Hades makes taking kids out anywhere the most dreaded of all things so I just don't anymore.

But we have bunked beds and there really isn't anything else a kid needs in life, so I'm not depriving them completely, only a little. And I am sorry that you have been deprived of how ever many minutes it took you to read this, consider it preparation for your Lenten mortifications. 


  1. Hang in there - spring will arrive and soon you'll be in your 2nd trimester and life will be good again!

  2. I love that you used holy water! Spring must come soon, that's all.

  3. YAY bunk beds!

    Totally laughed at the holy water because I was just picturing the scene in the head, and I'm thankful for the idea since Ryan has been in rare (okay ... not that rare, sadly) form the past few weeks. I'm back from CA so we can put our tantrum prone children together. I'm sure the girls will want to hear about Johnny ;)

  4. Ooo seeds! We stink at this and the only thing my kids and I have managed to not kill are paper whites. But I am sure your will work out.

  5. Oh my goodness I feel your pain on the tantrums. One of our sitters asked me if we should call a priest for my Child Who Shall Remain Nameless, and at another time asked if she could say a prayer over my little sinner's crib. (She's Muslim.)

    It's a bit better now, at least in public. :)

  6. I feel you on the tantrums, must be a second born thing because my Peter is probably right up there with Bernadette. He is slowing down a bit lately so maybe there's hope for Bernadette too! :)

    And bunk beds are awesome, my sister and I had them as kids and my boys have been begging for them for about a year now. My husband is still convinced someone (probably the aforementioned Peter) would fall off and break an arm.

    Btw I just found out your FIL is coming to my tiny little Pennsylvania town to speak, woot! My husband and I are looking forward to going to his talk on Consuming the Word. I think this may be about as exciting an 'event' as we get here in PA :)