I was sitting with a friend yesterday while our kids romped and frolicked enjoying a rare play date and the subject of my blog came up. I mentioned how little I post anymore and how I just don't want to do it and want to stop all together. As I said it some really sappy and overly dramatic music could have been playing in the background. I mean really, who really cares? It's a blog, so what if I never post again? Everyone will be fine and happy and the world will continue to spin, and most likely some people will even be happier (I know I can be annoying).
So since giving gratuitous explanations of things nobody asked or cares about is my shtick, here are a few scattered reasons why I might just keep the blog. When I think back on all the years of being married, the ones that I have the hardest time remembering vividly are those that I didn't blog during. I cannot remember my entire pregnancy with Bernadette, (except for the last few weeks where I knew she was breech and was trying to flip her, because that was too dramatic to forget) and the only reason I remember any of my pregnancy with Naomi is that I wrote a lot of it down. Most of her baby-hood is completely gone from my memory, I should have blogged it!
It's not that I think I need this online diary to document every detail of my children's lives, in fact Naomi turns 5 in a few days and she will be entirely retired from this blog in order to protect her privacy and possible future hatred of me for sharing things that could embarrass her later on. So I won't be e-logging her every home schooling milestone and the funny things she says will no longer be included in Too Much Talking and that's ok, I am sure I can remember how to use a pen and paper and log them elsewhere.
I don't think I remember the first few years of marriage and family less because I didn't write details down, although that is certainly part of it. But I think there is something about blogging and writing and having a creative outlet that has sharpened my brain a little and, in the tiniest way, helped to reverse the memory-less doom that is a woman's brain after pregnancies. Maybe, I don't know. It is really helpful to use the archives for reference when I totally forget something, and it has been the source of winning at least a few arguments with Mike about how things really went down.
Where am I going with this? I actually have no idea. I have been hiding from Lucy for about 20 minutes now because every time she sees me she begins weeping, but if I am out of sight she is happy as ever- lamest. thing. ever.
And I cut about 5 inches off of Naomi's hair yesterday and every time I look at her I want to start sobbing like Lucy when she sees me because: where the heck did the time go?!? She looks like a mini-adult and acts like one too and I just cannot believe she will be 5 in 3 days. Time needs to stop right now.
Then there is the miracle that is Bernadette and the huge change that has taken place in the past week after many, many weeks of rabid, wild, insane tantrums that left me and Mike totally stumped and wondering if we're really qualified to be parents at all (not really). She is back to her super sweet, still feisty but mostly hilarious self and we are feeling a little less like total parental failures.
Back to the original point: I am not going to stop blogging. I really do love it somewhere deep down, I don't do it for the pennies I make on affiliate links, it's not a job, it is and always has been a little hobby that I like.
For right now I will continue to play the blame game using the plague of pregnancy insomnia and the winter that never ends as my main excuses for blog neglect. Sleep deprivation puts a cloud darker than the perma-cloud in South Bend over my whole life and I probably don't even really feel negatively about blogging, just tired from not sleeping.
Happy Thursday, party people!