Tuesday, May 20, 2014

One for Mike

Mike does not leave often and like any wife, I don't like it when he does. It is hard to not have the help, yes, but I am a total sap when it comes to him being gone and I get all weepy and sad when he's not next to me at night. I don't even get scared anymore (or at least not terrified) about intruders, though I am sure if he left a lot I would freak out. When he's not here, part of me is not here too.

He's only gone this time for a couple of days, but since the moment he left the sap has been building up and is now just pouring out of me, begging for an outlet on which to lavish it. Just indulge me for a few while I devour my post bed-time purchase of chicken lo mein that the Belly called for and could not be without and pour the sappiness all over your feedly.

Mike is amazing. He is so funny, handsome, helpful (my GOODness is he helpful), hard working, talented, the list goes on and on. I have no idea just how I snagged him. Marrying him and starting a family together has brought me more joy than I ever could have fathomed would fit into my little life.

But the thing is that he rarely ever hears anything like that from me.

If you have read this blog for anything longer than 1 hour, ok 1 minute, you might have picked up on my knack for finding the things I want to complain about and doing so to my little heart's content. It's a gift I have, really. However, if you think that you've glimpsed even a tiny iota of how loud and fast this complain train can go, you are very wrong. Mike is the only one who can truly lay claim to that, and he does almost daily.

I love that he works from home, but I do wonder if some days he wouldn't get roughly 100 times more work done without my all-too-frequent 3 p.m. run-downstairs-to-just-let-him-know-how-insane-his-daughters-are-driving-me fits. They happen a lot. I am super good at voicing all my many complaints to him on the daily, but when it comes to sharing how grateful I am for each and every day that I get to be married to him and parent these children with him, I come up really short. I am not saying that I shouldn't be able to vent to him, I would never say that. And I always will do it.

What I wish is that I could say that I let him know just how happy and fulfilled this crazy life makes me just as much as I let him know how hard it is.

Everyone says that they had no idea how hard marriage and family would be before they tied the knot, and while that is certainly true for me too, I also had no clue how much I could truly love when I said yes. How deep and full the love could be.

I had no idea how much I would want to undergo the difficulties that come with marriage, because I am doing it hand in hand with the person I love more than any other. The excitement we share over finding out about a new life even though we know how hard the next 9 months will be and even crazier once the child is out, the twinge of sadness we feel at the end of the day when the girls are in bed because even though they make us crazy, they're ours, and we love every aspect of them: there is such sweetness to that. There is joy that is borne from us making the little sacrifices together, even though the sacrifices may bring us to tears.

I want to make sure that Mike knows how much I cherish feeling this baby move around inside me, because it is his little boy too. I want him to know how much I delight in even the hardest parts of being a mom to these girls because their his daughters too. When he's not here I am thrilled to be able to hold, kiss, feed, clothe and play with these little people who are part him- he is the root of my joy in these girls and in this pregnancy. This life with him is better than I could have ever imagined.

And so was that lo mein.

If you made it through, I commend you and you need not watch another sappy romantic movie again for the duration of the month, you've met your quota.


  1. That was just beyond awesome. Made me look at my husband of almost 20 years and think about all those things you mentioned. It's truly a blessing to have the blessing to be with your forever person.

  2. So sweet… I'd have to be pregnant to write something this sappy. Gotta love some hard core hormones : ) PS I hate being at home by myself too. I leave a light on in almost every room and sometimes in the closets and I'll light a candle or two if it is stormy and there is an inkling of a chance we'll lose power. Yeah I'm a freak!

  3. This was such a sweet post! I know how you feel about missing the husband when he is gone. My husband is a firefighter who works 24 hour shifts every third day. So I sleep alone several nights a week. It is hard sometimes but this is the lifestyle we have adjusted to. I worry about him constantly! Congrats on your pregnancy!

  4. Not too sappy but rather just right!
    Hope the time till he is back goes smoothly and quickly.

  5. Awwwww....what a sweet post! I hope he's home soon!

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  7. So sweet! I was tearing up and I'm not even pregnant!

  8. This post is so sweet! It is so easy to take the ones closest to us for granted. Also I'm right there with you in being scared about intruders-- I freak myself out when I hear the tiniest noise while I'm in the shower. There was one time my husband came in through the front door when I wasn't expecting him to and it scared me half to death. Good to know that it eventually goes away!

  9. Maybe postpartum hormones make one as weepy as pregnancy ones, but I'm sitting here wiping the tears away! As a fellow PhD wife, I can totally identify, though having just one baby right now can be hard enough, compared to three and one in the ov. Thanks for putting things in perspective. It sounds like you know how to pick 'em--I'll say some prayers for you while you're flying solo!

  10. I enjoyed this post so much. What a nice tribute to the love you have for him. Good luck while you're alone. By the way, I adore your wedding dress. It is beautiful.