Wow, is she really doing it? Is she really going to pen an entire post on her baby and his bad napping and post it to the world wide web?
Cue slow boring elevator music.
It's just that I am here again at this place where the baby naps for little 20 minute chunks throughout the day and, just like I did when I only had one nugget napping, I am all in a tizzy over it. I mean, I will give myself a little credit and say that the adult-sized tantrums I used to throw over my ONE child not napping during the day so that could, I don't know, sweep our kitchen and rid it of the 3 crumbs that Mike I and had dropped at dinner the night before have ceased.
I can cope with there not being a break during the day, mostly because we have a fixed bed time and Joseph hits the sac by 7:30 every single night and gives me at least a few hours before I need to hang out with him some more.
The problem is that he is not coping great. He is so tired! As he gets older I keep hoping and praying that maybe he will get into a better nap rhythm (i.e. ANYTHING longer than 25 minutes at a time), but yesterday 2 of his naps clocked in at TEN MINUTES a piece, which was a record and I had gone over my mental expletive limit because of it (what is my limit, you ask? A lot).
See the main problem, among may others, is this:
You see that swing he is sitting in back when he was 2 weeks old? Yes, he still sleeps in that thing as a 20 pound 8-month-old. He was our first colicky baby and it was a really helpful soothing technique that I just never forced out of his life.
Some people have drug addictions, some people need their coffee fix every day, some people can't stop shopping or need to watch afternoon soap operas every day, and Joseph has is swing. He just can't quit it.
I am trying really hard to begin the weaning process, but I have never had a swing sleeper before and it is totally throwing me. Trying to get him down for an afternoon nap sans swing has taken up an hour and fifteen minutes, but an afternoon nap IN the swing? 2 minutes flat and he is out like a light.
But then there is the issue- which I am pretty sure has no solution whatsoever- and that is his pretty consistent 20 minute sleep duration, regardless of where he is sleeping. I am totally ok with being a mean mom and letting him "fuss" himself to sleep, but the ratio of screaming to sleeping (something like 60 minutes to 20 minutes) is never worth it.
You know how I am a big "Rest Time" Nazi, and I will always enforce it because I be crazy like that and I need a tiny bit of sanity time to sit and stare at the wall. But everyday- without fail- "rest time" goes a little something like this:
- Take an eternity nursing Joseph to sleep or give up and get him to sleep in the swing.
-Run like a mad man to get Lucy down, rush through a quick book with her, rock and sing and lay her down (roughly a 6-7 minute process)
- Give Bernadette books on tape in her room (3 minute process)
- Yell downstairs to Naomi to have "have a good rest time" (1 minute)
- grab a cup of Keurig coffee (4 minutes)
- Sit for 4.5 minutes
- Hear Joseph screaming and go get him
And for pictoral proof, here are the many selfies I've snapped during what is supposed to be my short respite spent every day with the J- Man:
It's good quality time, and I actually enjoy it, until in his overly exhausted state he demands that I walk around the house holding his hefty dead weight else he will screech angry screeches sure to disturb the other napping one, which would be the very worst.
I know I've made my proverbial bed and now I need to sleep in it, or sit awake in it whilst holding him, but there must be something I can do to reverse all my bad habit making.
So what do I do? Give me advice that I will probably stink at taking because I am so, so weak. Please help me, after you're done helping the people in your life that have legitimate problems, because I am very aware that this is NOT one.