Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Too Much Talking

It's been an embarrassingly long time since I've posted any of the absurdities I hear on the daily, so for fear that I stop recording the stuff altogether, I will attempt to get back on the train. First I'll throw out a few of Bernadette's past gems, which will incidentally be her last quotes on here, because she's 5 and when you turn 5 you get kicked off the blog. So heres to her last hurrah and to Lucy stepping in as the lone resident small-talker, at least until Joe can say more than his standard 10 semi-decipherable word vocab.

Bernadette: Mom, can I have some bread and honey?
Ana: No, I forgot to get honey at the store, I'll get some when I'm out tomorrow.
Bernadette: Oh, ok! And you could also pick up some fireworks???

Bernadette: Mom, when I'm 5 and a half.....
Ana: Yes... (thinking she'll want a bike, or a new doll...)
Bernadette: I want to become a nun.

While getting Lucy and Bernadette a snack in the kitchen...
Lucy: Can I have some crackers?
(I hand Lucy her crackers...)
Bernadette to Lucy, in her very best fake British accent: Isn't she the very BEST maid you've ever had?!?

Bernadette (yelling in from another room): Hey mom!
Ana: What?
Bernadette: If you're gonna scream, then just go ahead and scream your head off, because we are making QUITE a mess in here!

Coming in to report to me on the status of her imaginary world...
Bernadette: Mom, I have some really bad news...
Ana: What?
Bernadette: I was about to have my wedding day but then the man I was going to marry?...
Ana: Yeah?
Bernadette: Well, he's a sinner, so I can't marry him.
Ana: You should have known that before your wedding day, right?
Bernadette: He just told me today!

After some altercation between the parental units and the children...
Bernadette: Hey mom...
Ana: Yes, Bernadette...
Bernadette: You know when you and daddy get too angry at us?...
Ana: Yes?...
Bernadette: Satan cheers.

Now to Lucy...

During one of my daily hour long attempts to lay in her room with her trying to get her to nap...
Ana: Ok, lay your head down now... have a good nap
..... 2 minutes goes by
Lucy: Mama, Jesus doesn't want me to take dis nap!
Ana: Yes he does, lay down and close your eyes...
.... 2 more minutes ....
Lucy: I have a great idea!! Why don't we save dis nap for tomorrow and go out and bake me a PINK CAKE!?!

Yelling for me from the other room while playing with Joseph:

As I lay in a heap of pregnancy nausea on the floor:
Lucy: What's wrong?
Ana: I just feel really sick...
Lucy: Well I don't want to get sick!
Ana: You won't, this is just because I have a baby in my belly.
Lucy: Oh, well you need to get dat FING OUT!


  1. Can Bernadette be my new spiritual director?

  2. Laughing my butt off- these are priceless!

  3. The bit about you being the best maid is hilarious! And Satan cheering when you get mad at the kids-- where do they get this stuff? It's amazing.

  4. Ohhhh...my goodness! These girls are hilarious! Bernadette's final quote is the most masterful parental guilt trip I've ever heard. Well done, girl.

  5. Ohhhh...my goodness! These girls are hilarious! Bernadette's final quote is the most masterful parental guilt trip I've ever heard. Well done, girl.

  6. I am so glad you posted these, I love reading them, and it makes me realize I really need to start writing down what my daughter is saying!

  7. Satan cheers. I laughed and woke the nursing baby.

  8. Oh my gosh- I'm dying. These are amazing!

  9. All da hazards!! Too good. Thanks for posting!