Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Too Much Talking

It's been an embarrassingly long time since I've posted any of the absurdities I hear on the daily, so for fear that I stop recording the stuff altogether, I will attempt to get back on the train. First I'll throw out a few of Bernadette's past gems, which will incidentally be her last quotes on here, because she's 5 and when you turn 5 you get kicked off the blog. So heres to her last hurrah and to Lucy stepping in as the lone resident small-talker, at least until Joe can say more than his standard 10 semi-decipherable word vocab.

Bernadette: Mom, can I have some bread and honey?
Ana: No, I forgot to get honey at the store, I'll get some when I'm out tomorrow.
Bernadette: Oh, ok! And you could also pick up some fireworks???
...

Bernadette: Mom, when I'm 5 and a half.....
Ana: Yes... (thinking she'll want a bike, or a new doll...)
Bernadette: I want to become a nun.

While getting Lucy and Bernadette a snack in the kitchen...
Lucy: Can I have some crackers?
(I hand Lucy her crackers...)
Bernadette to Lucy, in her very best fake British accent: Isn't she the very BEST maid you've ever had?!?

Bernadette (yelling in from another room): Hey mom!
Ana: What?
Bernadette: If you're gonna scream, then just go ahead and scream your head off, because we are making QUITE a mess in here!

Coming in to report to me on the status of her imaginary world...
Bernadette: Mom, I have some really bad news...
Ana: What?
Bernadette: I was about to have my wedding day but then the man I was going to marry?...
Ana: Yeah?
Bernadette: Well, he's a sinner, so I can't marry him.
Ana: You should have known that before your wedding day, right?
Bernadette: He just told me today!


After some altercation between the parental units and the children...
Bernadette: Hey mom...
Ana: Yes, Bernadette...
Bernadette: You know when you and daddy get too angry at us?...
Ana: Yes?...
Bernadette: Satan cheers.

Now to Lucy...

During one of my daily hour long attempts to lay in her room with her trying to get her to nap...
Ana: Ok, lay your head down now... have a good nap
..... 2 minutes goes by
Lucy: Mama, Jesus doesn't want me to take dis nap!
Ana: Yes he does, lay down and close your eyes...
.... 2 more minutes ....
Lucy: I have a great idea!! Why don't we save dis nap for tomorrow and go out and bake me a PINK CAKE!?!

Yelling for me from the other room while playing with Joseph:
Lucy: Mom! JOE'S BOUT TO GET UP ON DAT BED TO CHOKE ALL DA HAZARDS!!!!!!

As I lay in a heap of pregnancy nausea on the floor:
Lucy: What's wrong?
Ana: I just feel really sick...
Lucy: Well I don't want to get sick!
Ana: You won't, this is just because I have a baby in my belly.
Lucy: Oh, well you need to get dat FING OUT!

11 comments :

  1. Can Bernadette be my new spiritual director?

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  2. Laughing my butt off- these are priceless!

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  3. The bit about you being the best maid is hilarious! And Satan cheering when you get mad at the kids-- where do they get this stuff? It's amazing.

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  4. Ohhhh...my goodness! These girls are hilarious! Bernadette's final quote is the most masterful parental guilt trip I've ever heard. Well done, girl.

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  5. Ohhhh...my goodness! These girls are hilarious! Bernadette's final quote is the most masterful parental guilt trip I've ever heard. Well done, girl.

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  6. I am so glad you posted these, I love reading them, and it makes me realize I really need to start writing down what my daughter is saying!

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  7. Satan cheers. I laughed and woke the nursing baby.

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  8. Oh my gosh- I'm dying. These are amazing!

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  9. All da hazards!! Too good. Thanks for posting!

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