TEN

10 years. 

I was thinking about having this be a mini-blog post on Instagram, but it just seemed fitting that the celebration of 10 years of marriage would warrant a little dusting off of the neglected blog. This one's for you, Mikey (though it will probably be short because it started as an Instagram post, but it will have lots more pictures!!).

I keep thinking of the snipit from scripture (and I am pretty sure it's in multiple places, so I'm going lazy here and not citing it):

"Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife"

-Several places in scripture

Since that day 10 years ago we have clung to each other. I never could have known to the degree that I would need to cling to Mike. I think somewhere in my brain I thought marriage would be easy, that I could handle the ups and down fairly independently. From the moment we arrived at our new apartment away from home, away from families, I knew I was wrong. 

Within a few weeks of living there my first trimester sickness started and Mike was suddenly married to an invalid and I had to be completely vulnerable (throwing up in front of someone for the first time is kind of epitome of vulnerability).

During the birth of our first child I clung so hard to his hand it was sore for a week, I had never known that kind of need for someone. When I prepared for my unexpected c-section with Bernadette, I leaned on Mike in all new ways in my utter terror at what I was sure was my impending untimely demise (I was a tad dramatic about needing a c-section). He was a rock and comforted me and strengthened me in so many ways that would foreshadow the kind of support he would give me in later years of marriage.

I thought that nothing in the world could bring us closer than the births of our children- until our miscarriages. The loss of those 4 babies that no one else in the world loved and wanted as much as the two of us, that shared sorrow but then shared comfort that we could not find anywhere else but in each other, has brought us closer and strengthened our love more than I ever imagined.

When we got married 10 years ago I loved him, but what I think no one could have really prepared me for was how that love would be strengthened and tested most especially through suffering and the choice to cling to nothing but God and each other during those times. I am in awe at how much more I love him now than 10 years ago, and I cannot wait to see what that means for the decades to come.

Here's to at least 5 more decades, Michael Scott Hahn - I love you the most!!!