Friday, July 20, 2012

Midnight Musings

I thought this 7 quick takes up in the middle of the night last night. Most of my better instincts are telling me not to actually post it, but I think I will just go with it and see where it takes me.

I am a terrible sleeper. How old am I, 2? No I am 27 and I just suck at sleeping, I always have. I will wake at the tiniest noise and then be awake in bed, unable to fall back asleep for hours. I also stink at napping, but we'll save that for another day, or never, whatev. So needless to say that an already bad sleeper and pregnancy, the mother of all sleep disruptions do. not. mix.

Here are some things I thouight up last night that would make my life a whole lot easier both now, while pregnant, and during non-pregnant times as well.

A bed side toilet.  I think this would be splendid, only I don't think Mike would really appreciate it. A new topic for discussion for us.

I will one-up number one and say that an at-home catheter would be even better, no need to move at all. I googled this, but I will leave out pictures for you squeamish ones. I don't know if this is even possible. Grace, can you ask Simon?


An at-home incubator. Or really, just a Relaxman. After Jen's post on scorpions and the need to be totally confined during sleep, I think I am convinced. Only I don't know how comfortable these things are or if Mike would fork out the thousands of dollars for it. But I figure we could put this down in our basement, then I would never be awoken by any child/snoring husband/air conditioner noises/etc... ever again, what else could be worth thousands of dollars I ask you? Yeah, that's what I thought. 

Middle of the night dinner buffet. It really needs to be a buffet because you never know what I want at 4 a.m., but I am almost always STARVING in the middle of the night and having to spread peanut butter on bread at that hour is just inconvenient, you know? This way the food is all ready, it's set out for me, and there are options. That is the key people, I need options. This one looks good:
I'll take it.

Some sort of contraption that flips you from side to side when you need to move would be great. Sort of like a hammock in your bed, and you press a button and it flips you to whatever side you need to go to. Yeah, I don't really know how this would ever work, it's a real stretch.

Some sort of over the bed, button activated, misting system with chloroform. Mike may be a little uncomfortable about this, but we could hang a tarp between us in case he is worried.

It would be quick and not leave me feeling droggy in the morning. Perfect!

Or I could just offer it up like any really holy person and so many great saints who voluntarily gave up sleep in the spirit of mortification... to easy. 

So,  this is just some food for thought. 
Any other ideas would be most welcome. 
Go visit Jen and others for quick takes that will undoubtedly be a much better use of your time.
Happy Friday!


  1. Ohhhhh, Ana, I feel your pain! I am a terrible sleeper also and pregnancy only makes it worse. My Dad suffers too, and swears that when he repeats "Sacred Heart of Jesus, Immaculate Heart of Mary" over and over while picturing their images, it helps him go back to sleep. Just a thought!

  2. I feel for you! I have actually seriously considered wearing a Depends for a couple nights in late pregnancy -- just for a couple nights to get some extra zzzzs... ya know.

    1. This is me, Beth L'Arrivee by the way...

  3. I can totally hook you up with #1. The old lady who moved out of our house left one behind... and it's still in the basement. If anyone asks, I just tell them it's Joe's.

  4. I have the same issues. I'm a totally light sleeper anyway, and we have the snoring here too. Also the children waking issue. Although not as much now, as they are getting older. But even when one is sick, I'm awake "listening". Someday, I figure, when they are gone, I will be able to sleep. Sigh.

  5. Hahahaha! Oh, this post is awesome!

  6. LOL on all your ideas. I've been a terrible sleeper since that first pregnancy. Magnesium and some other herbs work for pregoes but for non baby bumper days, I like me some good old fashioned wine.