Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Mike Check


During a conversation where I was expressing some concern over whether we were short-changing Bernadette by not having potty-trained her yet, Mike said:
"Bernadette has been getting short-changed her entire life. She used to it."

One night after begging me to make a late-night run for some oreos and me refusing, Mike walked into the kitchen and said: "Could you Google 'can not having oreos cause unrelenting sadness?', real quick?"

While trying to figure out what actress co-starred with Sigourney Weaver in the fourth Alien movie (we are making our way through the series), Mike said: "You know, that minx who was in all those 90s movies, Winona Ryder."
"You should include a picture of Winona Ryder. And say that I used to have a crush on her."

After telling Mike that I was thinking about spray-painting a pair of shoes, Mike said: "Do people do that? Do non-homeless people do that?"

In the car on the way home while all three girls were whining as loud as they could,
Ana: "I think everybody is ready for naps"
Mike: "I think everybody is ready for a drink. Or just me."

While playing around on his guitar, trying to come up with a chord progression he liked, Mike said:
"I wish I was more creative, a lot more creative. Just leaking creativity out of least 2 major orifices. Or even only one."

To Lucy while she was doing, in public, her obnoxious growl that does all the time now: "Lucy, stop it. You are not contributing to a culture of life right now."

I made Mike try a bite of my banana avocado smoothie (thank you, Grace!), and after expressing his dislike very clearly, he asked what was in it. I told him there was banana and avocado (he loathes avocado), and after making a loud gag noise, Mike said: "And just a leetle bit of Lucy's diarrhea..."

5 comments :

  1. Hats off to hilarious, inappropriate, adorable husbands!

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  2. Ha..I love that 2nd to last one. That is how i feel about my baby sometimes..when she is not contributing to the culture of life.

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  3. Love it! Husbands give us a much needed sanity check sometimes.

    Jennifer @ Little Silly Goose

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  4. "Do non-homeless people do that?"

    HILARIOUS.

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  5. "You are not contributing to a culture of life right now." - HILARIOUS!

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