Wednesday, April 22, 2015

confessions of a 30-year-old mom of 4

Last month I turned 30. The big THREE OH, and I am just now beginning to come out of the denial stage and am moving on to acceptance, and what better way to really embrace it than with it's own blog post?

I think I would venture to say that having 4 babies in my 20s has kept me young, and that might be true, but I don't actually know since I have never been 30 without 4 kids. So, maybe I'm a good 5 years more haggard than I would be otherwise, but let's not think through that potential sad fact.

Moving onward and downward with some confessions of this 30-year-old mother of 4.

+ A couple of weeks ago I discovered that the local thrift store does home pick-ups and I made a call and scheduled one for today. We had an enormous pile in our storage room that was growing by the day due to my never ending desire to get rid of all the things. Words can barely describe my excitement over the pile being hauled away and the thought of a clean laundry room once again and today... today they came. No person should be as excited as I am about this. I have already done one unnecessary load of laundry and I am contemplating another, just so I can go stand in my storage/laundry room. Obviously I took a picture.

+ I haven't purchased a swimsuit since I was hugely pregnant with Bernadette and the one bought I found on a plus size rack at Target for less than $20. Needless to say it was the most awkward fit ever since it was made for a woman with a bust roughly 5 times my size and a belly that didn't protrude like a sideways watermelon (hint: just because you match the weight of someone who is plus size does not mean you will fit into their clothing). The other day the girls were talking excitedly about all the fun we are going to have this summer out in our baby pool-- because we go real big for summer over here-- which I frequently floated with them in it last summer because I was huge and pregnant again. They asked me which bathing suit I would wear and I let them know that I don't own one, they were appalled at this and have not stopped planning a new suit for me since. Bernadette came home with this little art project that she made at catechesis of me dreaming (or praying about?) my new bathing suit:

They have no idea that I will be avoiding that purchase with all of my being, I don't have the heart to break it to them.

+ I have not had a legit pedicure since late in my pregnancy with Lucy-- so almost 3 years-- and my feet look like little post-apocalyptic waste lands with a little nail polish. The thing is that I hate pedicures and I hate foot maintenance so I am thinking I should just ignore it and make it a thing that I do when I am 40. That's disgusting.

+ I found my first grey hair a few days before my birthday and I almost cried. I know how absurd it is that I care that I am getting old, but I think it is a result of being such a middle child. My default is to always think that people are older than me and to always be intimidated by people. I am perpetually 21 in my mind and I like it there. As opposed to Mike who has been mentally 60 since he turned 21, we make a great couple. I found a second grey a couple weeks later and was much more emotionally stable about it, so I am getting there.

+ I look forward to going to the grocery store like most 30-year-old women probably look forward to going out on the town.

+ I bought a romper at Forever 21 and I'll likely never actually wear it but having it in my drawer makes me feel younger so I'm not taking it back.

+ I fairly recently screamed my head off at a security guard for blocking my way onto campus and nearly causing me to get in an accident. I think I almost made him cry. The girls were thoroughly terrified of me.

+ I made cupcakes for Bernadette's feast day last week and ate almost every single one over the course of 4 days. They were so good.

+ I just signed up for a free online Theology course at Notre Dame and I can't stop feeling like Jill Taylor on "Home Improvement" when she goes back to school for her master's. The very fact that I keep thinking of this proves that having kids may keep you feeling young, but it does not keep you cool.

I am indeed 30, there is no escaping it.


  1. Okay this was HYSTERICAL. Happy late birthday! You make 30 look GREAT!

  2. 1) Happy Birthday

    2). I'm 37 and I still think of myself as about 25. So, in my mind everyone is older than me, even most people are actually younger. So, I'm deep, deep, deep into the I'm in my late-30's denial thing over here.

  3. I'm going to be 30 next month. This is the dying of my 20s. But at some point we get wisdom, right?? How did I get to 5 kids and so little wisdom?

    Happy birthday!

  4. I'm not quite 30 but I have numerous grey hairs, if that helps you feel better. And Lands End bathing suits are very nice albeit quite spendy.

  5. You're hilarious. Also, I found my first grays at 19 and promptly freaked out.... So you're doing pretty well, I think.

  6. Those security guards made me cry so many times, so...I'm actually really proud to say I know you. And I'm planning on bringing you with me whenever I have to drive on ND's campus. ;-)

  7. Those security guards made me cry so many times, so...I'm actually really proud to say I know you. And I'm planning on bringing you with me whenever I have to drive on ND's campus. ;-)

  8. I'm 26 and going to the grocery store - especially when it's a special trip like Whole Foods or Central Market - makes me as giddy as a child with a choking hazard. I feel inexplicable joy that should not be felt over such a mundane thing. But cest la vie. - Joanna

  9. Ugh, I am not embracing 30 at all. I definitely still think of myself as in my mid 20s...until I meet people who are actually in their mid 20s and then I feel old. And those cupcakes look so good! I have barely any restraint when baked goods are so no judgement here.

  10. Jill Taylor! What a feminist. (insert laughing emoji here)

    I've had grays since I was 20 so... turning 30 next year will have to find something else to depress me. ;) And I need a swim suit too. :(

  11. Ugh, I haven't bought a practical swimsuit since my honeymoon (which is definitely a NO-GO for now, I shudder to think about it) and I'm really dreading it too. :)

  12. Look up retro style suits on amazon, that should make you happier. Some are seriously cute.
    and if you do feel like investing, Lands end does have very nice ones.

  13. We are never as young again as we are today! So carpe diem, maybe buy the swim suit, if it doesn't work out you can donate it via thrift store home pick up ;) so win win

  14. The romper makes me laugh. I believe I have bought clothes for similar reasons.

  15. I'm not even going to tell you what birthday I'm facing this year. It's definitely NOT 30. Not even close. Ahem. Anyway - bathing suit. I recently had to make a purchase of one, because we went to the beach for spring break. I tried Target and was sorely and severely scarred by the experience. So I bit the money-bullet and went online to Land's End. It was a little more money, but they have some really cute things. You can mix and match bottoms and tops (I got a long tankini), they are cute AND modest (very hard to find!) and very well made - I think it will last for a number of years.

    1. I came across the Land's End catalog at my parents' house and man those babies are CUTE. Too bad I don't actually need a new suit...

  16. Girl! 30 is the new black. ;) you are hilarious. And I love that mike was 60 forever. Haha and the fate of the cupcakes. Yum!