Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Why mornings sometimes suck

We've been blessed with a wonderfully spirited first born who, for the better part of her life, has awoken no later than 6 and probably for half of her life, has greeted us and her day even earlier.

I almost called this post "Sometimes I want to say the "F" word"but I thought it could cause scandal. But for real, there is little in the world that makes me want to yell expletives more than waking before the clock starts with a 6. I HATE waking up before 6. Strike that, I hate waking up before 8, but I will take 6 and hug and kiss it and give it flowers if I could get it.

Here is what my mental dialogue looks like when I have to wake up during the 5 o'clock hour, like I did this morning (mind you this is only in my head, and I do not condone the usage if this vulgar word):

Naomi is standing next to my bed, in my face, it is still dark out, I look at the clock, 5:10: "F"

She explains she is soaked and needs a new pullup, pants, and a new sheet: "F"

I fulfill all her needs, put her back in bed explaining that it is still "the middle of the night and she needs to go back to bed (lies), I lay back in my bed, the clock now says 5:23: "F"

I roll over at 5:40, I still haven't fallen back asleep. I even toy with the idea of getting up and cleaning and starting my day before the girls, I look at the clock again: "F it, I am just going to lay here"

I start to fall back asleep when I am awoken again by noises, I look at the door and there is light streaming in, there were no lights on before: "F, she's up again"

By this point it is past 6, I go out to find her under the dining room table, I tell her that she needs to lay back in bed until 7, that she hasn't gotten enough sleep so she complies. I go back to bed seriously hoping now that my intense fatigue resulting not only from the stupid early wake time and the fact that I did not go to sleep early enough to make this a good night sleep, but also from the fact that even even if I had gotten 8 hours of sleep and woken up at 7, I would be completely exhausted because I'm pregnant- please don't tell me all the energy will come back w a few weeks. It will not. It never does. I will be exhausted for the next 5 months and then many more after, that is the way this goes. I am not complaining, wait yes I am, but mostly I am just showcasing why many of my mornings are a prescription for bad words in my head. Also, I am not very pious. I mean, if I were, I would offer up these mornings much more readily for people who have real difficulties. I usually try to remember to do that, after I have shouted 27 expletives in my head.

While getting breakfast together and after getting yogurt on my hand "F", and spilling flour all over myself "F", I thought maybe I should put on some rap music in order to get myself motivated to get some stuff done in preparation for our trip, but then I figured that the only reason I even wanted to do that is because of the vocabulary already filling my head and that just maybe Ludacris and Jay-Z would most likely just exacerbate it.

So unless I can find some G rated Kanye, I will likely be listening to my rosary and chaplet on repeat for the rest of the day in reparation for being a terrible person.

*A note to the scandalized reader: the "F" words going through my head have never actually left my head and the letter "F" is often used internally in place of the actual foul word. My children have never heard this word, at least not from me.


  1. I prefer that kind of music too. You can take the girl outta the ghetto....

    I do the same thing when my kids wake up super early on the weekend (at least during the week I have to get up anyway). Someone is always up during the 5:00 hour. I just roll around in bed wishing I could get some sleep and not offering it up and once I finally do get up, i feel guilty for not using that time productively. I could have made a huge breakfast or cleaned the house of gone for a run in all the time I spent grumbling.

    Recognizing the problem is the first step towards correcting it though, right?

    I hope you get a nap in today :)

  2. I totally relate to this. Many of my mornings are just like this. I consider myself very lucky if they sleep until 6:30.

  3. omg I love you Ana. From the windows, to the wall...

  4. HAH! I laughed out loud when I read your title...I am in the same exact boat here, sister! If I have another 5am wakeup, I'm going to go crazy. I've even started to go to bed by 10pm in a desperate attempt to get some extra sleep!

    1. Ten? I'm asleep on the couch by 8:30 :)

  5. Not sure if you want commiseration (you have it!) or a practical solution, but we've found that using diaper doublers (like big maxi pads without a plastic backing, from Amazon--we like Abri-Let brand) work great at keeping kids dry through the night (and preventing those horrid early morning wake ups. I usually do the doubler in the pull-up (when they are too big for the overnight diapers), then a cloth diaper cover over that. Seems to keep things contained so I'm not taking myself out of bed at ungodly hours on a regular basis for wake up calls.

  6. I'm with you!!! When my husband lets me sleep in, I could go until 10 normally. I do not like mornings. Actually, I just looked at the clock and it's only 10:30 - "F!" HAHA!! This is going to be a long and rainy day. At least I had my chia seed smoothie to give me a little pep in my step :)

  7. Ana, I have a feeling I would react much the same. It can be hard, especially if you didn't get enough sleep and really never can..and then if you aren't a perky morning person (which I am not! I used to be annoyed that my Mom whistled so much each morning). I've gotten better, but I think it's because I sleep fine now...but when kids come I can see myself very much in your position! Prayers coming your way, and the fact that you haven't actually uttered "the word" is quite an accomplishment in my opinion =)!

  8. Agreed on an accomplishment. Simon says Julia is going to start cursing any day now.

    Love this!!!

    F-bomb. FUS style. Along with scandalize, call on, man in the hall and the caf.

  9. Just found this post and I COMPLETELY relate!!